GUILT

A/N: Hey, besties! This is not my first fic but it's my first for this fandom. It started as a fic in spanish but somehow I ended up changing it to English, which is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.
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He couldn't help but stare at her every two seconds, even when he was supposed to be paying attention to what Mariví was saying. A warmth took over his chest when he caught Raquel smiling at him after he complimented her mother's cooking, he could tell she was happy to see them talk and get along. However, that didn't distract him from the evident exhaustion on her features, on her eyes more than anything, and he felt awful knowing he was the cause of those dark circles on her eyes and the way her mouth rested in a slight frown.

"C'mon, darling. You don't eat enough" Mariví scolded her daughter. Raquel shrugged at the comment and threw her head back, the action seemed so childlike that it made Sergio wonder what Raquel was like as a teenager.

As Mariví continued to complain to him about the downsides of her daughter's job, Raquel excused herself. His eyes followed her as she dialed a number and went into what he assumed was her room. He had no doubts she was calling the tent to give some kind of information, the question was, What kind of information? And when did she discover it? What made her think of it at that exact moment? He excused himself from the table with the excuse of going to check on her and headed to the room he saw her go in.

He made it in time to hear part of the conversation and give himself an idea of what they were up to. He waited quietly behind the door and knocked a couple of times when he was sure she had ended the call, making it seem like he had just gotten there. He heard her answer and opened the door slowly, she was sitting at the edge of her bed looking at him with a smile, his heart pounded at the scene "You okay?"

She kept smiling "Yes, just a little tired. Come in" he did as told "And uh, groggy also. They had to give me a sedative, and I… I'm not used to taking it" he could hear her but he wasn't really listening as he took in Raquel's room. The patterns on the walls, the color of her sheets, the hand-made heart with a picture, clearly a gift from her daughter, that now decorated the headboard, the glowing stars stuck to her walls...

"Yeah, I'm not very lucid today either" He confessed when he finally made his way next to her.

"I'm sorry, Salva, but I need to lay down. I gotta sleep" She said, taking her place on the bed and closing her eyes. His heart skipped a beat every time she called him Salva because he had introduced himself as 'Salvador' but she decided to use the short version. The short version of his false name, a name that didn't mean anything to him until she said it, because he felt like in the few days that they had known each other, every time she called him 'Salva' the word carried affection.

"Sure, of course" It was as he replied when her words from just seconds ago hit him, 'They had to give me a sedative' his stomach dropped at the thought of causing such kind of distress on her. He looked back at her to ask her why she had been drugged but she had fallen asleep the second her hed touched the pillow.

Sergio stood up intending to go back with Mariví while Raquel rested but before giving the first step he took a moment to appreciate the sight of the woman he had studied for quite some time but never imagined would have such an impact on him. Her face rested in a frown, her mouth slightly open and her chest rising and falling with her breathing. The thought of leaving the room abandoned his mind and he took the place next to her on the bed, they were face to face now.

He was feeling lots of things but mainly guilt. A lump started to form on his throat as he saw her sleep. He knew he was fucked the moment she grabbed his hand after telling him about her ex-husband, he remembered the warmth of her palm and the gratitude shining through her eyes when he told her he would help her. He had never felt such a desire to beat up someone he had never met as he did with this Alberto guy, or such an urge to hug and protect a person as much as he did with her. He realized at that moment at the Hanoi how incredibly flawed his plan could actually be because, yes, he had studied it for years and thought of every possible outcome, but everything about it was superficial, his plan was like a shell that he never cracked open and Raquel was one of the things that were inside. Before the heist, he knew her name, her charge, her address, but he didn't know how strong she was, or how kind, he didn't know she had been abused by her ex, or how much she loved her daughter. He didn't know she had a mole on her lower back, that she liked to drink wine, that her hair smelled like coconut or that her laugh might as well be the greatest sound he had ever heard.

He remembered how Andres used to ramble about love, always trying to convince him he would find someone, the same speech that always ended with Sergio chuckling and shaking his head in denial because he never thought he would be able to feel such a thing. It seemed kind of impossible to imagine he would ever be in the situation he was at the moment: chaos surrounding him, people's lives at stake and all he wanted to do was exactly what he was doing, laying there watching Raquel sleep. He didn't realize the depth of his guilt until he felt a tear roll down, leaving a tiny spot on the pillow. He took his glasses off and wiped it away with the back of his hand, then he put the frames in front of him. All he wanted was to touch her, not in a sexual way, just touch her, feel the warmth of her skin, pass his hand through her arms, clasp their hands together, hug her, smell her hair and kiss the top of her head, her forehead, her nose, her urge to touch her overtook him and he pushed some strings of hair off her cheek, taking the opportunity to caress her all the way to her jaw. 'You can't risk this entire plan for a woman', the same words he had told his brother a couple of years ago echoing in his head, making him look away from her because he was a man of his word, he had morals and he knew he had made a commitment to the people at the mint and they were counting on him, but even then, just for a split second, he thought of leaving it all behind and staying there, with her.

Just as his mind started to fog, her phone rang.

Raquel woke up in a second, she didn't even flinch, it almost felt like it was something that happened often, she seemed used to it. She answered immediately, shaken either by her dreams or by the voice on the other side of the call. Her back was to him but by her body language and the change of pace on her breathing, he could tell they had found something. His mind a mile per hour, thinking of his next move, how could he get her to tell him what was happening? He watched her walk back and forth across the room and wondered if the gang knew what was happening, he pondered his options, should he get out of there? Should he distract her?

His eyes were glued to her while still emerged in his thoughts, he hadn't even realized she had hung up until she turned to him, Sergio could see her mind flowing with ideas, possibilities, she seemed so proud of herself, like she had discovered something; and even though he knew he had everything planned to the millimeter, he couldn't help but feel his breath shorten at the thought of being discovered. But just as soon as the doubts started, it all faded away when she asked him to drive her somewhere. He was reminded of how much Raquel trusted him, of how she was a closed book but she had told her story to him, of how even when she had made him feel so many things he never thought he would, he still was taking advantage of her. Once again, Andres' words made their way into his brain 'Betrayal is an inherent part of love, it doesn't depend on how much or deeply you love someone. It depends on the magnitude of the dilemma put in front of you' And there it was, the lump on his throat, the heaviness on his shoulders, the guilt.

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