We Were Greedy

Chap. 5: Uncertainty

Chapter 5

Uncertainty

The days that followed were pretty much the same. Daniel and I wandered around the city in the search for artists wishing to become bigger. And boy, they were an awful lot more than I thought there were. Every corner of New York offered us a desperate artist. And it broke my heart every time we had to refuse someone.

"I feel so bad." I sighed as Daniel and I sat in a highly modern restaurant. The sun setting behind the gigantic buildings, casted warm shadows upon his contrasting dark and pale features.

He lifted his head to look at me questioningly as I contemplated the busy streets many stories bellow us. "What do you mean?" He asked as he took a sip of champagne.

He had decided to take me out to a fancy restaurant at the top of a building. Since our talk, I had drastically changed my way to be around him. I was more relaxed and he was too. I'd chose his ties and he'd pick my shoes. We were over all, very comfortable with one another. So when he proposed we'd fake being a wealthy and notorious British couple dinning at a fancy restaurant, I couldn't refuse. But somewhere in my heart I felt almost like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Him being the rich guy and me being the struggling prostitute without any education he payed to spent the week with him to pretend he has a girlfriend and seal some deals. I felt like a tiny vulgar caterpillar in a world of majestic white horses. Don't ask why that specific comparison.

"I don't know, it seems so unfair." I said as I leaned onto my elbow. An old lady with a gigantic hat eyed me with exasperation and I quickly took my elbow off the table. I looked down to my fidgeting fingers. "All those talented people we've seen, and we can't do anything for them. It makes me want to believe in good and bad stars."

When I lifted my head up to look at him, his deep blue eyes were already glued on me, watching me intently.

I carried on, feeling my cheeks warming. His eyes had started to have that effect on me lately, I never noticed before how piercing they were. Each time they met mine it was like I was the only person in the room, he was a great listener. "Sometimes it must feels like the world just hates you, you know. Like everybody except you wins, you're just there hoping and hoping, but never getting anything." I explained as I tried to tear off the crimson red nail polish that covered my long nails.

I felt ridiculous. I'm sure they all knew how much of a fraud I was. I never went to a big school, nor was I qualified in anything. I was just a pretty girl who had landed a contract with some dorky looking man whom ended up getting rich. I was just very lucky, I hadn't worked as hard as those kids we'd seen on the streets do. And I felt bad sitting there, Drinking champagne with my hair up in some fancy up-do, my feet crushed by my most expensive pair of high heels in a ridiculously glamorous dress, that could've been some girl's prom dress. I felt bad, sitting in front of an amazing man, who had worked his butt off to get where he was, an handsome man who had given up his best years to have a little luck in life. I was a fraud born under a good star.

"It's not your fault, Nora." He said softly and my eyes met his' again.

"I know." I answered quietly. "But sometimes I hate myself for being lucky." I didn't wanna cry, I didn't wanna ruin the nice moment we were having, but as more seconds passed, the closer the tears were getting.

My throat was starting to tighten when I felt a comforting warmth on my hand. Dan's long fingers were placed over mine, his eyes begging for my attention.

I met his stare and he cocked his head to the side, a pained expression painting his features. "Nora, please. Don't be sad. It's not your fault, it's not anybody's fault." His low voice was gentle and soothing. "And I know it's infuriating, but we have to accept that we can't do anything about it." He added. "I wish it wouldn't be like that too, but we cannot save a billion people. It's horrid, but sadly it's life."