Kintsugi

And My Burden to Bear is a Love I Can't Carry Anymore

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CW/TW: Mentions of torture and SA

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Riko

Keigo followed me home and walked me into my building, all the way to my door. Despite being alone in the hall, he kept looking around like he expected someone to appear out of nowhere. I still hadn't seen or heard from the neighbor since that day. Not even a passive aggressive door slam. "Keigo?" I asked, "You ok?" He seemed to suddenly realize I was still there as he snapped back to look at me for a brief moment.

"Oh sorry. Thought I heard something." He said but he was already looking around again. I watched him for a moment before unlocking the door. He was totally oblivious to the fact that I was staring at him, absorbed in whatever he thought he heard. He settled his focus finally on the neighbor's door, glaring at it so intensely, I thought he was going to drill a hole in it with his eyes. I opened the door and stepped in, waiting for him to follow, but he just kept staring at the door.

"You coming in?" I asked and he answered without taking his eyes off the door.

"No, I gotta get back to my patrol." He replied slowly.

"Well, thanks for walking me in, bird brain." I said and only then did he finally look at me again. He smiled as he reached up and poked me in the forehead.

"Night, pain." He said as he turned and walked slowly down the hall. I smiled as I shut and locked the door behind me, my phone chiming as I deadbolted the door. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was a text from Keigo. What the hell? I clicked open my phone.

Keigo:

If you hear or see anything weird, use the feather immediately. Please.

Me:

Ok.

Keigo:

I mean it.

Me:

Ok I promise.

What the hell had him so on edge? I know he has like superhuman hearing, but this was crazy. I put my stuff down on the little table as I usually do, and it was then that I realized Bruno hadn't come to greet me. I looked around and didn't see him anywhere. It wasn't a big apartment, where could he be that I wouldn't see him? "Bruno?" I called out, utterly confused. That's when I heard a whine and scratch at the bathroom door. I sighed a little with relief as I walked over to free him from the small prison.

"What were you doing in th-" I froze mid-sentence. I opened the door and Bruno wiggled out through the half opening. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; written on the mirror in my lipstick were the words "Kaze says hi". I stood there staring at it, trying to make some sense of what was in front of me. Was I hallucinating? Had I gone too long without eating? Was my brain finally going? I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but the message remained.

It clicked what happened. Someone had broken in and locked Bruno in the bathroom so I'd see this message. They had to know me, know Bruno. Someone was in here, in my home, my private space. I grabbed a towel and wiped frantically at the mirror, trying to erase the sick message left behind. The words screamed through my brain over and over, even as they disappeared into a smear on the glass.

They knew Kaze.

I moved 7000 miles away, across the planet. It's been 6 years. I've never contacted anyone from that time, changed cell phones a dozen times, refused in person or video meetings, only corresponded using my pen name and a secure, mirrored IP address with my editor, and he's the only person from the publisher that I talk to. How did someone find me? I felt my heart jackhammering in my chest. As my panic level rose, so did the contents of my stomach. I dropped to my knees, barely making it to the toilet in time, vomiting bile.