𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒━━━━━𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎✰

013

013
emory's pov

     I STARE DOWN AT MY PHONE HOLDING the picture of chris and leah on the screen. they look so happy. so why can't i be? i wipe the tears off my face and phone screen. i'm so pathetic. i left him.

he never was going to leave her. why didn't i just tell him how i felt. you did. more times than i can count. he just didn't care.

why am i always the second option?

i shut my phone off and roll my eyes. i'm so stupid for crying. i knew they weren't going to break up. so why does my heart hurt this bad?

there is a knock at the, "come in." i grumble into my pillow. "why don't you just go back? you're so sad here." my mom says from my doorway.

"no one wants me there mom. i'm just better off here by myself."

"baby that's not true. nicholas loves you. he's been blowing my phone up asking why you aren't answering your phone. he don't understand why you aren't talking to him." she says sitting down and placing her hand on my leg.

"mom, chris left me after taking something so important to me, nick is best friends with leah, matthew is so stuck up paytyns ass and same with roles reversed." i say kicking my leg under my mom.

"now that's not fair emory." she says removing her hand. "they have known leah for a while and you don't get to just come in and start to fall in love with her boyfriend. i am pissed at you for that. that is not cool and unfair to her. how would you feel if you were leah? i shouldn't even be telling you to go back and win him over again but here i am. you're a better person when you're with him. and from what nick says he is a better person when he's with you. you don't get to be mad at him for not leaving leah once he told you before anything happened that you'd just be friends. and you sure as hell don't get to be mad at nick for still being friends with leah, that is horrible. leah is a human to, so suck it up or go talk to him in boston." by time she was done talking she was standing up with her hands on her hips.

maybe she's right, i can't be mad at chris or nick. they both have known her for a while and i can't expect chris to break up with her.

it's not fair of me to want that. i power back on my phone and see i have a ton of text from nick. i open the messages.

thicky nicky
emory, this isn't fair.
why won't you text anyone back.

thicky nicky
em, chris is worried. what happened between you guys?

thicky nicky
emory rae adams this is fucking annoying. you're being a little bitch. and i can call you that so suck it up and text us back now.

i shut my phone off and hold it to my chest. i wish chris was here. i open my phone and see a tiktok of chris and leah from a few hours ago. they look so happy.

i don't know why i think that was going to change from a few minutes ago. they are so perfect together.

i feel tears i didn't even know fell on my cheeks. i don't care what anyone says i'm going to stay selfish. i have every right to protect my heart from this situation.

chris may be fine but i'm not. i'm dying on the inside. i need closer. i need something.

i stand up and close my door and lock it. i get down on my knees and pull a box out from under my bed.

i sit on my bed and place the box in front of me. i open the box and look at all the bottles of pills in front of me.

a year ago we placed this box in my room to hide it from my dad. little did i know it would start the peak to my addiction to every little thing my dad was to.

i run my fingers along everything and stop on some fentanyl. this is the worst drug to me but makes me feel the most alive.

i scoff and grab the suitcase walking to my bathroom. i open every container and flush the pills down the toilet. i can't keep this up. i can't keep hurting everyone i love.

i just need some space. away from everyone.