Holiday Blues (ON HIATUS)

Part 2

The next morning, I woke up at 9, contemplating calling Theo and saying something came up. Part of me wanted to cancel but the other part and the stronger part wanted to know why he walked away when he did. I hated that my brain kept thinking about him and bring back memories of our happy times; as if it forgot all the hurt, I went through because of this man.

I closed the door and looked at my phone, I had been stalling and now it was 9:43am. Maybe if I'm late he will leave thinking I bailed on him? I contemplated the idea and with a groan I got in my car and drove towards the burger place although it may be too early for burgers, I doubted I would eat anything today. It felt like I had led in my stomach. I parked the car and slowly made my way to the restaurant wishing I had told him off and this wasn't happening. But one smile from him and I was ready to agree to almost anything; almost anything.

"Aiden!" my heart skipped a beat as I turned to see Theo standing by the far wall with two cups of coffee in hand. I approached him and he handed me the cup, "caramel macchiato with a hint of hazelnut," he smiled.

I glanced down at the cup, "actually I am trying to cut back with sugar," downright lie, but what the fuck was he trying to do remembering my favorite drink.

"oh," he said as he took back the cup but I grabbed it before his sad look registered in my brain and made me feel worse. We walked out of the burger place, agreeing it was too early for burgers and decided to walk around the park near the restaurant. We were quiet as we walked around it, people were already in the park this early. Some were walking their pets, others were doing yoga, and there were some who went for a morning jog around the park. The chilly weather made me hold the cup of coffee a little closer to my face so the steam could warm up my nose. I loved the smell of hazelnut, it made me feel warm and safe and just happy.

"want to sit and talk?" he asked and I shrugged as we walked toward a bench and sat down. I scooted down a bit so there was some space between us and I think he noticed because he smiled a bit sad.

Why was he sad when he had been the one that ended things and left?

"how's life? Anything new?"

I shrugged, "working and trying to take it one day at a time, I guess."

Theo nodded, taking a sip of his coffee, "anyone new in your life?"

I sipped my coffee, "how's your life going? Must be nice traveling the world." I had heard from my sister who was still friends with Theo's sister that he had started a photography business and had gotten sponsors who paid his travels to take beautiful pictures. I remember how happy he looked when he was behind a camera and was glad, he had found something he loved --- because he sure as hell didn't love me.

"yea, I guess, kind of lonely."

I nodded, "I bet there wasn't a day your bed was empty when you woke up," I could taste bile in my mouth trying to be amicable with him when I wanted to go off and walk away.

Theo shook his head, "actually I haven't been with anyone since..."

"Bullshit." Fuck, it slipped out.

"what is your issue, Aiden?"

I scoffed, "my issue? Theo you ended things, left me on fucking Christmas day. I haven't heard or seen you in three years and now you're back acting as if we are still friends and saying that you haven't been with anyone since you were with me. How gullible do you think I am? I am not that poor bastard who stood like an idiot that morning and watched you leave without questioning it. I was broken and had to put myself back together bit by bit; and it took a long fucking time to even consider myself human again. And now I am sitting here with the man I thought was going to be my husband and be by my side till we were old and wrinkly; but no, you decided you couldn't do this anymore and left."