From Me To.. YOU

Prologue

"When It's Quiet All Around
That's When I Feel The Loneliest
Especially Now You're Not Around
Filling That Void.
Meaning Now There's Nothing But Me And Myself And The Voices In My Head,
Which Have Become Louder Ever Since.
BUT The Voices And Feels In My Heart Won't Let Them Ever Win As Your Memories Will Always Live Through Them.
Until The Moment I See You Again..
All I Wish Is For You To Be Smiling Wherever You Are And That's What I Keep Tucked Away In My Heart..
Especially During The Times I'm At My Loneliest, As It's When I Think Of You The Most.
For Now It's Time to Depart,
For Now.. Until Our Arms Embrace Again...."

Day 1:

"It's been 24 hours since you left me.
Since you died in these very arms of mine. Since you took your last breath on my shoulders, with my tears streaming down my face.. and touching yours as your head lay right onto my shoulder.
Since I hugged you so tight without anyway of letting you go.
It's been 24 hours since we said that our last goodbyes in tears. Since I saw and felt your pain and couldn't take any of it away.. that moment where I would have done anything to take your place.. for your pain to be my pain, I would have done anything to see you standing here.. and yet there's nothing, nothing was done.
Thankyou for being the best big brother, the amazing role model that I didn't know I needed yet I got you without asking for you.
Thankyou for being my all in one, my father, my mother, my brother and my best friend. My saviour who gave his soul to save me without even thinking twice.. the guy who put me in front of everything even in front of you again and again..."

Day 2

"I'm sooo broken.."
I thought to myself as I picked myself from the bed once again.. all alone with the most heaviest heart.
The most heaviest heart I've had since the moment you left me. How am I meant to carry on and keep fighting? Especially when you're not here beside me-side to side like you've always been since I can remember and before.
I don't know how to live without you.. I'm not programmed to live without my big brother, but I made a promise to you as you took your last breathe on me as we held each other, that I will do this so therefore I will try to keep and honour that promise until I can with every fibre in my body.
This is for you my big brother, wherever you are.... this one is for you.."

Day 3:

"As I looked outside the window with teary eyes,
The raindrops were loud and clear.
Feeling hot and cold my body felt like a rollercoaster yet my hands were freezing cold like I've held ice in them for seconds, minutes, hours.
I have no idea how it was 5am..
I have no idea where this night went.
What did I dream of?!
Hope it was of you and we hugged so tight as we shared our words to one another and you're telling me how you're watching over me-ALWAYS.
If this was so I know what we ended with:
Till next time.. my brother.
Till next time."

Day 4:

"The raindrops on the window have kept me up once again, to be honest that's just an excuse I couldn't sleep even if I lay there with my eyes closed for hours and hours.
I squeezed my eyes tight trying to remember our first memory together, tormenting myself in this very moment, this pain was the kind of pain I welcomed with open arms,
feeling this pain made me realise atleast I'm feeling something-which is better then the dark void that sometimes knocks on my door and tries to come in without any permission what so ever.
So yes I welcomed this pain, the pain that turned my smile into teary eye drops within seconds just like that.
Then, I think what you would be saying to me if you saw me like this and after remembering your last words to me-that you whispered to me, these tears dry out as fast as they run down my face, as fast as they run down my face is as fast as they turn dry....."