My forever love

Deny the hurt

For a week the two sneaked into each other's room, they didn't say anything to the others,Jimin because it was new and he wanted to enjoy it, Jungkook because he thought of it as a fling.
The group had to do a radio chat show, of course the recent crash and Jimins injury was spoken about but Jimin played it down and said how sorry he felt for the dead man and his family
The interviewer then asked if the boys had a significant other in their lives,Jungkook was asked first and he laughed and said he had nobody in mind that he could imagine being with full time. Jimin stared at him thinking he was just saying that for the sake of saying it, but when he looked at him he saw that he truly meant it and he felt a pang in his chest. When it got to his turn he spoke sincerely," I thought I had that special person but it didn't mean the same to them," he shrugged it off with a fake smile, the others knew who he meant and Jungkook looked guilty.
After the interview,jungkook tried to speak with him but was met by a blank stare. Jimin decided to travel with Tae not Jungkook in the car and when he got to the dorm he excused himself and went to his room locking the door.
"Well you fucked up," Suga said angrily to Jungkook
"What did I do?"
"You played Jimin like a fool, fucked him and dropped him."
"I didn't drop him,and how do you know I fucked him!"
"There's nobody I can imagine being around full time," Suga mimicked." We all know you fucked him !"
"Look I've never promised anything to him,"
"You must know how Jimin feels about you, how he's always felt about you!"
"I'm not responsible if he likes me more than I can him....." Jungkook blurted as Jimin came into the room with a jacket on, his face blank.
"He's right he's never promised me anything, it's not his fault if he doesn't lo...like me," he stuttered before walking out the door leaving everyone staring after him.
Jungkook went to go after him but..., "leave it Kook he won't appreciate you going it will just hurt him more." RM said.
Jungkook stormed to his room, a pain in his chest, he hadn't done any wrong, why did he feel guilty, even Jimin had told them he hadn't promised anything, but why did that make him feel sad?
Jimin went to the underground garage getting in his car that he rarely used and driving off, he felt cold like ice and even turning on the car heating made no difference, it was like his heart had become a block of ice , not allowing any feelings to go through his body.
He drove to the sea, he had no idea what the time was, he sat on the beach, a hat and mask on so he wasn't recognised. He just sat there quietly as day turned to night, his body numb to everything. His phone rang and he ignored it, ten minutes later it rang again, he sighed ," yes?"
"Jimin where are you we are worried," Jin said.
"Don't worry hyung it's fine, I won't be back tonight."
He clicked the phone off.
How calming the waves are he thought , he looked at his watch and realised it was nearly midnight , he hadn't eaten or drank anything since breakfast but surprisingly didn't find himself hungry. Going to his car he climbed into the back seat curled up along the length of it placed a hoodie he'd left in the car over his legs and fell into a deep exhausted sleep.
Jungkook paced back and forth across his room. Why didn't Jimin come back? Was he ok? A knock came it was Jin," I rang Jimin he won't be back tonight. Just thought you should know," he turned and left.
Jungkook sat on his bed, he felt lost and he didn't know why. He got up and went to Jimins room which was neat and tidy as usual, he prowled around for the first time noticing that nearly all the photos Jimin had on display weren't family members but pictures of the two of them caught on camera laughing or messing around, he picked one frame up to look closely and saw a small book behind it. Picking it up he flipped through it but felt guilty when he realised it was not just a notepad but some sort of diary. He was going to put it back when he saw his name.
Kookie finally made love to me, at long last we are together, I know he hasn't called me his boyfriend but it's obvious he takes such good care of me. The loneliness I've felt for years watching him go with others is finally over, he's mine now and I couldn't be happier.
Jungkook read it tears streaming down his face he couldn't deny the hurt he'd caused the other anymore seeing how much Jimin had waited and wanted to be with him. He should have known Jimin would never just give up his body for a fling.
He took his phone out and sent a message to Jimin.
I'm sorry Jimin for my callous attitude I never meant to hurt you, can we talk about us when you get back, I didn't realise you loved me , maybe we can make us work.
He waited and waited but there was no reply, he lay back on Jimins bed clasping his phone waiting for a reply but eventually falling asleep from exhaustion, having dreams that he was chasing after Jimin but just couldn't catch him, he was always out of reach.
He woke up at five thirty his hand still clasped around his phone, he looked at it and saw there was a message from Jimin.
Jungkook as you said there is no us so no need to talk about it.you have shown me how childish my thinking was, love obviously doesn't exist I've just been in a fairytale of my own making, don't worry I won't bother you any more, I'm going to concentrate on my job from now on and if I need light relief I'll find it outside the band as you have always done, let's be grown ups and get on with life.
Jungkook frowned for some reason he didn't like the reply, he felt like part of him was missing. He got up tidied Jimins bed and went to his room to shower and dress knowing he wouldn't sleep anymore.
He came out of the room and could here people talking so he made his way into the kitchen area and saw Jin and Jimin, his heart leapt at the sight of him.
"Jimin!"
Jimin turned his face blank,"0good morning Jungkook,excuse me you two I need to go to my room." Jin patted his back a worried look on his face, Jungkook grabbed his wrist as he went to walk past
"don't touch me again!" Jimin hissed wrenching his arm away and walking away.
Jungkook stared after him a surprised look on his face, he turned to Jin,"why won't he talk to me?"
"Because he had a dream for a long time and he's seen it fall apart completely, I'm sorry to sound harsh but how you never realised how he felt is beyond me, we thought you realised when you rushed to pull him from the car, and your jealous attitude when he went out with friends, it looked like you'd finally fallen for him guess we were wrong as well."
Jungkook stared listening to the words, he felt like an explosion had gone off inside him, all the times he'd hated Jimin being around others, how he'd felt when he got close to Jimin, it wasn't just the thought of trying out gay sex, he'd wanted to do it, needed to do it but only with Jimin, he'd convinced himself he wasn't gay so didn't even ask himself what he felt like when he was with him, he didn't care about being with anyone else it felt wrong to him.
"Jin I'm an idiot, I got it all wrong, I love him, I was so busy pretending I couldn't be gay that I didn't see what was right in front of me!"
"Ah Kook, your not going to find it easy,Jimin is hurting a lot, I've never seen him this desolate."
"I will show him, I will get his love back, please help."
"Ok Kook, operation lovebirds is on I'll tell the others we can try and help."
Jungkook nodded sitting down to think how he could change things," Jimin your mine," he mumbled his mind set on getting his liver back.