Love and All that Jazz

Perks Of Being The Baby

"We are just friends Ice"

Those were his exact words. It hurt when I first heard it.. and it hurts just the same now that I remember.

"But Rio..I"

"Don't you get it? Everything was.. Nevermind. You get it already I know you do, you just can't accept it"

"I don't understand.. Please wait.. tell me why you're acting like that-"

And he swiftly took his arm from my hand. He walked away rather hastily and didn't look back. Like I was something he didn't want. Like I meant nothing to him.

I just wanted an explanation. I wanted to know how a charming young man could suddenly be this cruel. How? Was I ugly? Clearly not. I gave him everything a man needed. His space, his time, and most of all, my love.

♫ I remember the days.. when you're here with me.

Those laughter and tears we shared for years.. hmmm ♫

It's this damn song. It always reminds me of Rio and the day he left. Even though it's been three years and I met countless people, the pain is as fresh as it was.

"This is our song" He said.

I believed him even though he didn't promise me anything. I thought he loved me. I was wrong. My eyes were starting to sting. It's that feeling when your tearducts are about to burst. I turned off the radio and headed towards the bathroom. I can't afford to sulk right now. I should be over him. I should be over everything.

It's another day and it's time for work. I'm back to my usual afternoon schedule. I'm happy I'll get to see the boys again. They never fail to make me happy.

BEEEP

I looked at my cellphone and saw Jes just sent me a message

❝Hey Bhe. It's PAYDAAAAAAY! I'm sure it's gonna be hella low. We had lots of losses this month. But low pay is better than no pay right? See ya later❞

I felt relieved. Yey! Payday! Mom's gonna be so happy today.

❝Ew! Don't call be Bhe. You're disgusting!❞ I texted back.

❝I call you Bhe 'cause you're our little babyyyy❞

❝Honestly, Jes, Stop. It's still disgusting. >.❞ I texted back. Amused. It felt nice to be the baby of the group. It felt just like highschool. I was always pampered. Always loved and appreciated.

Especially when it came to Haze.

"Haze, I'm scared"

"Don't be. We're gonna rock"

He said. He sounded so sure that I felt assured. Haze never fails to make me feel like I could do anything.. and that was exactly how I felt at that moment. We could do anything.

And with that he strum his guitar and it was like angels were strumming along with him.

♫ Panalangin ko sa habang buhay..

(I pray for all my life)

makapiling ka, makasama ka. Yan ang panalangin ko.. ♫

(to be with you, to be near you. That's what I pray for)

I began singing. Feeling each lyric. Each note. 'Cause that's how I really felt at the moment. I want to pray.

I pray for a happy future.. With someone who will love me. With someone I love.