Winter

even if just by 1% this darkness lifts

Spring always comes after winter

just like how,

after the darkness of night,

the sun will rise again.

There's a little more lightness 

to my steps now.

When I walk.

When I live.

I am trying to learn to love myself

the way I have learned to love myself

so many times before.

But sometimes when I go to work

I imagine - 

justforasplitsecond -

what if?

What if we ran into each other again? 

What if you said hello unexpectedly once more?

What if I saw you 

and finally told you how

I am so in love with you

and do I have to let you go?

It took me some time

but now

when I catch myself wondering

'what if'

I stop myself,

take a second - 

breathe.

And it helps.

Even if just a little,

It helps.

Even if just by 1%.