No Judgment {l.s}

Eighteen.

:0

Okay I know I usually only go once a month to get new items yet here I was again with another basket in hand. Niall mocking me the whole way over saying 'glad your obsession is back.' Something was slightly off about him though like he was a little on edge or something. I decided not to question it just yet.

I didn't end up finding much, two new pairs of shoes and a slightly tight fitted black dress. I walked over to Shawn who was smiling and chewing gum. "Hi, Harry." He said while ringing my items. Hi waved back with a smile

"Hi Niall, I had a nice time-out I hope your up to it to do it again some time." He said smiling directly at him.

"Uh yeah um  I'll get back to you on that." Niall said nervously with his head down.

I just darted my eyes between the two, and fought the urge to smile grabbing my now bagged items and fled out the door Niall following close behind.

"Don't say anything." Niall said while backing out of the parking lot.

I just snickered until it turned into a full blown laugh. "Awe Niall you went on a date." I said while laughing.

"It wasn't a date." He said not daring to look at me.

"Oh really who payed?" I said taunting himself little.

There was a silence.

"So what if it was a date he asked me to go because his friends had last minute plans so how was I supposed to say no." He said with a pouting face.

"....sounds like he set you up.." I said while giggling. Making Nialls face become more unfazed and bland.

"Shut up Harry." Is all he said. Trying desperately to hide his flushed face.

-

Now that we're out of that little..predicament I was back to obsessing over my problems. Trying to find a solution.

I felt my eyes brighten up with fear, anxiety, and excitement at the possibility of walking through school in a skirt. Taking it all into consideration. I sighed dramatically as I realized how silly I was for just dancing around my problems that could be easily solved if I was any other person.

I should just do it. Damn the problems,I can deal with the slurs and dirty looks. I can mask how scared I am until I get home and look back over every flaw I had. That's how it usually goes normally.

Only this time I had one major motivation to keep my head up through out the day. Louis. So many accomplishments during  our time spent together heck I even found the courage to be brave enough to wear them around my family and boyfriend. If he was by my side to support me than that was all I needed. I felt myself smile.

~

"Psst Harry." I heard someone whisper slightly shaking me from my slumber. My eyes slowly adjusting to the figure standing over me in my dark room.

"Gemma?"

"Hi." She says with a smile. I get my arms out from under the covers hugging her. Not having seen her since summer. I turned on the lamp and sat up while she occupied the couch. "What are you doing here?" I say lightly still kinda surprised of her visit so outta the blue.

"I'm home for winter break, and we'll I've missed you and mum." She said. "So how've you been?"

I let out a small laugh "Good a few things happened while you were gone, um went to a party, went on a date, got drunk more than I should have, I have a boyfriend?, and yeah that about sums it up." I say happily. Gemma blinks rapidly looking slightly confused.

"Wow sounds fun I assume the drunk trips have something to do with Niall and a boyfriend good for you." She says with a playful smile.

"How is he?" She says fully interested in the topic sitting up in her seat. I do the same smiling. "Amazing he's so caring and gentle he's just...lovely. I say trying the right words to describe him hoping she understands all the things I'm trying to stay.

"Well if your this gushy about him in a few words he definitely is good for you." She says nodding in approval.

We all ate together in the dining room catching up with Gemma and how she's been what she's been up to laughing and talking.

I'm mixed with so many thoughts and feelings as I lay in bed waiting for my mind to become so fed up with thinking that it finally gave into sleep. Everything is becoming to familiar the routine with myself is at least.

I'm comfortable so comfortable that I need change even though it's scary it is needed and this is the perfect way to totally step out of my comfort zone and get used to the idea that I can overcome all the hatful glares and words and freely wear what I feel good in.

I have the sudden urge of determination and confidence surge in me. I can do this. I strongly told myself even though I had an undeniable pit of fear and anxiety beginning to settle at the bottom of my stomach. I just hope I won't regret it too badly?..

A/N

Okkk I'm back 'as it was' is incredible he'sjust soo heavenly :) a bit of a shorter chapter but it'll be worth it for what is in the upcoming chapters a bit of smut&stuff here and there ;) hope you like it sorry for any errors...<3