𝙁𝙡𝘼𝙈𝙀 // 𝙀𝙑𝘼𝙉 𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙇𝙀𝙔

Forty.

"Is this your first?" The doctor asked Kate

Kate was laying back on the seat, the paper crinkled beneath her as she shifted nervously.

"Yeah" she nodded, "I'm so nervous"

"This is gonna be cold" she disclosed before squirting the cold liquid on Kate's flat stomach

"What about you dad?" The doctor asked Adam

"Excited, but nervous too"

"Here it is" the doctor turned the screen

The expecting parents stares at the screen, focusing on the little dot in the center. A small sound echoed the room, both of them averted their stair to the doctor.

"It's the heartbeat" she reassured, "a strong one too"

"Oh wow" Kate exhaled, she listened intently to the small drumming sound of her baby's heart; it felt like the most perfect sound in the world

"what did you think honey?" She asked her fiancé

"I think it's the best sound ever" he smiled

Kate smiled, she squeezed his hand happily "can you believe that's ours, we made that"

Adam kissed her forehead "I hope they turn out like you"

Kate woke up from her restless slumber, she had been sleeping for small intervals throughout the night, they maybe lasted between 1 to 2 hours.

Kate felt relatively okay, it's the first morning this week she hadn't woken up sick. She kept wondering how she didn't spot the signs. They were crystal clear.

She glanced at the clock in their room and noticed it was still early, meaning Buck wouldn't have left yet. She was trying not to avoid him, she knew it wouldn't be easy but the idea of not wanting kids completely shattered bucks heart - despite him denying it, she could see it in his eyes

Kate walked out of their room, she made her way to the kitchen "morning"

"How are you feeling?" Buck asked, looking up from his phone

"Like I want some coffee but can't have any" Kate sighed, she pulled out a seat at the table "I feel okay, just tired"

"Yeah, you were stirring a lot last night"

"Yeah, I feel like my brain is working overtime right now" she joked lightly, barely forcing a laugh

Buck barely nodded, he wanted so badly to support her. He always assumed she'd want another baby eventually, but if it's like she said - if she never wanted kids, it changed things. In the most horrible, heartbreaking way.

"You're mad" Kate sighed,

"I'm not mad I just don't.. I don't understand" he admitted

"Okay, what is it you don't understand?"

"Is it just the idea of losing another child that holds you back? Because if that's the case.. it's - it's rare and things would be different. I'm not saying we have to do it right now, but some day in the future"

Kate blinked, she took in a breath and exhaled seconds later "I know it's rare Buckley... I-. When I found out I was pregnant with Sam I never even considered the possibility that I wouldn't-.." her voice caught on fresh tears "I wouldn't see him grow up.. but it happened, I was suddenly part of a small percentage. I just-.. what if it happened again-..

"It won't" he cut in, taking a step forward "I promise it won't because I won't drink, I won't drive. I'm not.. I'm not Adam and One day we could have a family"