her (h.s)

Prologue

I fucking love dick.

Sorry that was rude. What I mean to say is 'omg I love LOVE! Im so glad Im waiting till marriage, then ill have 4 kids with my Prince Charming in our home and we'll live happily ever after!'.

...

Yeah right. I fucking hate men I forget to mention, slum of the earth. And love? Your joking right? Who the hell still believes in that shit? Could you imagine wanting to spend your whole life with someone? I can't even hold a friendship longer than 6 months without getting bored let alone a whole relationship.

Its quite ironic actually, my name quite literally means 'to love'. I sing my little love songs, post about 'all love is love' and for god sake I basically preach kindness to my fans. Yet behind the albums, the red carpets, the instagram profile, and so on... i'm 'heartless', well according to my manager anyways. She's a cow though so who the fuck cares what she thinks, she literally exists to make me look good.

Now your probably thinking, 'who does this girl think she is? she's a whole bitch!'. Duh thats the whole point. Kindness is just asking for trauma, and don't even start me on vulnerability. Sure I'm apathetic and cruel, but why the fuck should I not be? Please, enlighten me as to why I, Esmerelda Mabel, owes this world an ounce of 'softness'. Im a women look at my tits and get over it if your that butt hurt.

Now I wish I had some dark and mysterious background to explain my.. outlook on life. But I don't. Im white, conventionally attractive, grew up in a big house with 2 parents, for christ sake we had a little white dog named Charlie. Doesn't get more privileged than that. Ive never had a boyfriend so I don't have some villain origin story stemmed from heartbreak, I'm also rich as fuck so its not like I have some sort of victim complex. The world adores me. Yet I'm still like this. Ive thought and I guess felt 'sad' over my distaste of normalcy and romance in general, but to be honest I really just don't care.

Sure I've been called out for my rude tendencies by people thinking 'lets inspire her to make her better!'. But in the end they get fired, black listed or even end up in the hospital by 'accident'. So they usually realise to shut the fuck up. Does that make me a bad person? Whatever floats your boat, but at the end of the day Im here to entertain people. I live because I owe it to my fans. Their my rock, they are the closest source of happiness I've known (other than when I'm high as fuck on MDMA). Oh yeah forgot to include that in this little monologue. Im a drug addict. Don't aw and ah though because I'm loud and proud baby. Snort it, inject it, smoke it. Suns your horizon as long as it gets me to feel like I'm touching the stars.

"Esme, your on in 20 babes!"

My one women show going on in my head is interrupted by lez my manager.

"Fuck" I curse under my breath. I have to put this whole ass corset bodysuit on in 5 minute than somehow do my makeup. If I where a guy all the audience would expect is me to slap on a band tee and baggy jeans. I'd just have to walk around stage mumbling about pussy. But no. Im 'The' Esme, therefore anything short of a whole ass step up movie reenactment and my career would be dust. Double standards <3

After literally sucking in my whole asshole into this custom Versace piece, I just apply some light makeup and hairspray some fly aways. After finishing up I quickly line up 2 lines and snort the white powder on the makeup bench then head off to the underneath stage to start my sold out stadium tour. And people say women are slow.

-

"Thank you London! I love you guys to death and I can't wait to come back." With a final applause I walk off stage and immediately head back stage. Fuck I'm itching from a cigarette. God what am I 40?

"Esmeralda! Beautiful show, they loved you as always." Willow suddenly shouts into my ear.

Cool. Now wheres the coke? No, no, no. Focus Esme. Socialise, network, then drugs. I mean meditation. No, i mean drugs. God I'm fucking stuffed, and not in a good way. Maybe I should call Harley later.