Love Me In The Dark (A Damon Story)

Chapter 14

David's POV

The first time I got my heart broken was in high school. Her name was Sarah, she was a beautiful girl that all the boys were dying for, including me. She was one of the first girls they accepted and we were all in awe of her beautiful blonde hair and light eyes, she always wore cute colorful ribbons in her hair and ornaments on her backpack. For months I tried to court her but I never dared to tell her how I felt as she made sure to make it clear that we were friends. By the time I had the courage, Sarah was happily married with a beautiful 10 year old daughter. I thought Carrie would be the biggest disappointment of my life, until tonight. Hearing the man I love say those things about me felt like a rope around my neck. Loving Simon is a constant battle against his stupid ego, against everything his fame means to him. I understand, being together publicly will be a feast for the vultures of the press and it won't be because Simon is with another man but because of his fucking ego the size of the Milky Way.  As soon as I'm in the room and the door is closed behind me, I let out all the pent-up pain and tears roll down my cheeks. I hear my heart break into a thousand pieces along with my sobs. I knew this could end badly but I never thought it would hurt so much, why do the people I love end up hurting me so much? I cry for a while and then I just fall asleep. Thank you Simon Cowell, you fucked everything up.

***

"Are you ready to go?," Stephen asks me, approaching the sofa I'm sitting on in the airport. We all wait for Simon's jet.

"Yes," I reply simply and get up from the sofa, grabbing my bag and walking towards the boarding gate.

Two weeks in Manchester were like a rollercoaster of emotions. On the show I was the funny David making the audience laugh with my flirtations with the contestants and my smutty comments to Simon. I deserve a BAFTA award for the latter. On outings with the BGT gang I was the casual David, trying to appear as relaxed as possible and avoiding Simon as much as possible without being too obvious. In my room, at the end of the day and in the quiet solitude of my room I was the depressed David, the one that no one saw and only cried because the love of his life broke his heart. I had a different idea of this trip when I woke up that morning, I thought he and I would have moments, moments like the one that night, that perfect dinner he arranged for us. I settle into my seat next to the window on the plane and a tear rolls down my cheek as I remember that night. Remembering how it was just me and him, how he was my Simon and how I lost him at the end of the evening.

"David, are you okay?," Alesha asks sitting down next to me. She can clearly see what everyone else ignores.

"I miss Bert, that's all," I lie and with that, I pull my headphones out of my backpack and plug them into my laptop.

'I Can't Make You Love Me' by George Michael is the song that accompanies me at this moment. I close my eyes and just sink into the music. I can't make Simon love me if he doesn't want to, I can't make him have the same feelings as me if the huge monster that is his ego strives to put up walls of steel between us and makes him hurt me. Why is keeping his image worth more than me? Everything is worth more than me when it comes to relationships. As soon as the plane lands in London and the captain gives the order to leave the plane, I quickly get up from my seat and walk out, wishing I hadn't bumped into Simon. I walk down the aisle until I reach the airport exit where Matt is waiting for me. I take one last look back and see him, there's Simon hugging Amando and saying goodbye to Ant & Dec. As soon as he feels my gaze, his eyes and mine connect one last time, I give him a sad look and then look ahead to walk alongside Matt. We get into his car and Matt starts driving.

"We're flying to the States this weekend, the producers want a meeting with us," Matt informs me as he drives. "I hope your boss doesn't mind.

"I don't care what Simon Cowell thinks," I reply in a cold voice, looking out the window.