Kolhapur Chronicles

6. breakdown

"Pallavi I demand to know right now!"

Pallavi was startled and the plate she was washing almost slipped out of her hand. Vahini calls her Pallavi only when she is angry at her, and it's very rare for her to get angry. Pallavi could not even recall anything that she may have done to cause the anger. Keeping the washed plate aside, Pallavi held Vahini by her shoulders. She looked into her eyes and answered honestly, "Vahini, I don't know what you are talking about, what do you want to know?"

"I know something is seriously wrong between you and Raghav and I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW!"

"How do you know?"

Pallavi whimpered, her voice breaking. She could feel the walls around her heart crumbling, everything inside her was on the verge of spilling out, the moment she was in now, she could hear the beating of her own heart and the shivering of her arms.

"I just knew it the moment I saw you when you came here." Vahini said softly. Pallavi sobbed, she knew this was it, one more word from vahini and she would break down. She turned her gaze towards the floor, not able to come up with words.

Holding her close and sitting down, Ketki hugged her. Rubbing Pallavi's back with one hand and running the other through her hair, she spoke in a very calm manner. "Piu, sometimes holding things is too hard. The more you hold it, the more you will have to struggle and work to keep it all together. You will be on constant watch as nothing should spill out. It becomes difficult to feel anything without being cautious and eventually you will find it hard to even breathe. Try letting go once baccha,it may make things easy, you know I Love you and I will try my level best to understand."

That was it.

Pallavi broke down completely, tears spilling through her eyes, drenching Ketki's kurti. She tried to snuggle close and hold vahini as tight as possible. She did not know when her cries gained voice, and they echoed all through the kitchen. She tried to stop her sobs, worried that anyone may hear them, but quickly lost control when she remembered that no one was home except her and vahini.

And her pain.

She knew no one could hear her, she knew she could let it out and so she did, even when it became hard to breathe. Her head was running multiple thoughts, but the hand that was running through her hair caressing her, the hand that was soothingly rubbing her back, the woman who was trying hard not to break down holding her close, stopped every other thought that crossed her mind and Pallavi just gave in the embrace.

She cried and cried remembering everything that had broken her heart and hurt her soul, she cried till her tears had dried out. Pulling away, she looked into Vahini's eyes, who then ran a hand through her face, sweeping away all the hair strands behind her ear. Wiping her tears, Ketki picked a water bottle from the kitchen table while holding her close. While Pallavi gulped the water, she muttered a small prayer to Bappa, thanking him for sending Vahini to her life.

If Pallavi knew what motherly love was, it was because of vahini. Aaji loved her no doubt, but there was  always  this generational gap which vanished in her relationship with Ketki. Dada was married when Pallavi was still in college, and she instantly became best friends with vahini. They were inseparable. Sharing gossips and chit chatting along with making important life decisions together was their thing. They gave each other enough space, yet were close. They had a bond, they knew when and what things happened. She loved and understood Pallavi like no one else and raised her like a daughter. Vahini tells everyone that Pallavi is her first born and she definitely means it. So when vahini said that she knew it, it was true, she definitely knew it as she could read Pallavi inside out like a book.