Kolhapur Chronicles

18. hurt

"I love you Pallavi."

Her brown orbs ditched the breathtaking view of the sunset to meet his black ones. Her lips had parted, eyebrows rose in questioning and even though Raghav had expected her to be in shock, it seemed as if she was caught off guard.

"Pallavi hear me out, please."

She did not say anything, but the way her lips shut the space between them leaving a sigh was an indication for Raghav to continue. He had not prepared anything this time, instead, he had decided to let his heart take control of what is to be done, and a part of him knew that giving his heart the entire control of the situation would lead it to be shattered. He knew Pallavi would never hurt him intentionally, she is not that type of girl.

What he was afraid of, is her honesty.

Her ability to say the truth without sugar-coating it is something he had always admired and appreciated but is he ready to face the same truth? Is he ready to hear her side? Raghav realized maybe he made a mistake by confessing so soon, but the situation they were in, he could not control any more. He had to speak now, and considering her reactions to his past and his apology, he knew this was the time.

Maybe not the right time, but he is ready.

"Pallavi, I never knew I would be saying this, but here I am." Taking a deep breath he continued. "You came into my life on that fateful night, but little did I know you were the light I needed. I always tried to destroy you, physically, emotionally and mentally, I broke off all your relationships, yet today here I am, wanting to cherish you, protect you and keep you safe for life. You are the strongest woman I know, stronger than my Amma too, because you have something she doesn't, and that is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and think about their actions."

She met his eyes, her heart heavy with unknown emotions. She never thought there would be a day when he would compare her to his mother and consider her superior. He did not feel the burden of his own words because that is exactly what his heart believed.

"Pallavi, you always make me think, make me question my abilities, since the time we were enemies. Every word of yours had me losing sleep, making me retrospect my weaknesses and increase my strengths. I used it in ways against you, but you have had an impact on me always, and today there isn't a minute when I don't think about you."

"Raghav-"

"Let me, please." It had taken him immense courage to come and speak of his unfiltered and raw feelings. 10 years of silence, 10 years of buried emotions, 10 years of preparing speeches and presentations with the advice of an entire team and 10 years of being drunk to say what is in his heart.

It's not easy to break that chain and do the exact opposite.

Yet he is here.

She stopped, nodding her head. But the spirals in her stomach and the heaviness of her chest did not settle away.

"Pallavi, the more I got to know you, the more I understood how amazing you are. You, you only know how to give, you never hesitate before helping anyone, and even though these are the basic things a human being should do," he pointed his index finger towards her, "you doing it for the world means a lot because the world I knew you lived in has always tied your feet by chains. Still, you believed in the goodness of people and the power of humanity, and that is one of the many things that makes you beautiful."

Tears had clouded her eyes, but they did not dare to fall. She was numb would be an understatement, she had lost all her ability to react and think. All her brain did was process what he was saying. He had come to terms with these statements and they just fell effortlessly out of his lips.