Kolhapur Chronicles

16. forgiveness

"I am sorry Pallavi."

She did not oppose nor answer immediately. She knew that there will be a day when they'll have this conversation and it was today. No matter how hard she tried to ignore or bury it, the fact that he literally destroyed her life would never change.

She was not happy, she was made a doormat, and her self respect and originality were burnt to ashes by those people, everything was agreed upon. But the main point that is missed is he had no business being this big of an asshole to her. She had a life, something which she had chosen to live, and even though it was pathetic, it was her choice. He did not need to come and interfere as he owned it, he did not need to be a puppeteer and control every aspect of her life.

He turned a small flickering flame into a forest fire which burnt her down.

There was one thing that Pallavi knew, Raghav was a man of strong emotions. He hated her with an intensity stronger than the sun, even when her ex father in law was in the fucking hospital, all he cared for was for her to marry him. He went through everything big and small and put her through worse, making it difficult for her to even breathe. He did not physically assault her, but the mental trauma he gave her was enough for her to be destroyed.

He has changed, but all this anger in her which she has covered in a bubble needs to be burst today. And his words worked as a perfect needle because Pallavi knew she could not hold it any longer.

"What are you sorry for Raghav?"

Her voice resembled the one he had heard when he first stepped into her house and faced her in Kolhapur. The chirpy Pallavi was dead, the girl who raised her eyes to meet him was someone else.

Raghav had goosebumps all over him.

Amidst the chilly winds of the first rain and the damp weather with clouds covering the sky again, the question hit him harder than he anticipated. He had prepared all night to answer and apologize, but this Pallavi was out of the syllabus for him too.

"I asked what are you sorry for Raghav?" Her voice was even calmer this time, and to be very honest Raghav was scared.

He wanted to cry.

What was he sorry for? For ruining her life? For accusing her of something she hasn't done or for assassinating her character? For buying her shop just to harass her or for forcefully interfering with her existence and converting her to dirt?

"For everything Pallavi." He stuttered, not able to meet her eyes.

This sorry of his was making her angry because she had moved on. Why did he need to apologise and awaken the confrontation which she had happily ignored, making herself able to sleep in peace?

"What everything?"

That's it.

He wanted to run.

He thought she would fight, yell at him like always, begin her lectures and maybe even pelt a stone or more on him. But these one-word answers with lifelessness lingering in every alphabet was something he was not ready to handle. Maybe he misinterpreted her kindness for forgiveness and asked for an apology real soon. Or maybe he did not work hard to gain forgiveness. He was in a mess, and he decided to calm himself before another panic attack hits him, because if it does, he would never have the courage to look into her eyes again, forget saying sorry.

"Pallavi, I," the trembling words dared not to leave his mouth as her eyes met his, the beating of his heart at a rate double that normal was killing him, and his brain was confused about what to handle first.