Thunder

3

POV Clay:

"What do you mean: 'You regret it?' Do you mean our relationship?"

"No, listen, I don't mean our relationship. What I'm saying is-"

"Wow, Clay. I thought you loved me. I-I just can't do this."

And with that, he disappears as fast as he can. I hit the door frame with my fist furiously. What the hell was that? Why does he always get everything wrong?

I take another look up the stairs, then turn around and grab my shoes. I let the door shut loudly.

Briefly I consider taking the car, but then decide against it. I need some fresh air right now. I pull the hood of my hoodie down in my face and put my hands in my pocket.

I stumble forward, disoriented in one direction. Not only that, but I don't pay attention to where I'm going. My head is just total chaos. Full of George and the stupid argument. It's not the first time we've quarreled. Not even the first time that we argue about this stupid topic. But this time, it has degenerated quite a bit.

It was actually a wonderful day. We went for a walk on the beach in the morning. Then we went shopping and after that, we drove back home. But then the stupid topic came up again: Who should know about our relationship, and when are we going to tell them?

George has been saying this since the day we got together. Who we tell and when we tell someone about our relationship. At first, we took our time with it. Even Nick or Darryl don't know about it yet. But at some point the questions became more and more frequent and penetrating.

It's not that I don't want to tell anyone or that I want to keep this relationship a secret forever. But I'm just scared. Fear that our outing will destroy George because everyone would like to tear down our relationship. Who knows what they'd all say?

Dream is just an idiot on the internet, what do you want with him? Dream is not worth it! You deserve someone better than Dream! Or the other side. That some fans or people are more on my side and see George as if he is not good enough for me.

I just don't want George to suffer because of me. I'm just scared of losing him. Because he wouldn't be able to stand the shit storm. It would break him.

Our fight today was about that exact topic again: When do we tell our friends, our families, or the fans? I tried to drop the topic, didn't want to think about it or discuss it today.

For me, it is also a big problem because I get even more anxious with each passing day. What if George doesn't want me anymore? Especially when we tell everyone now. What if, at some point, he thinks that he doesn't want any of this anymore.

I regret not having the courage to tell others earlier. But in context, George has now got it wrong. I didn't mean I regret being with him or living here in England.

At that time, I took all my courage and came to England with one bag. I love George as I have never loved anyone before. He is everything for me. My whole world.

I prefer not to lose my world. But I think that's what is happening right now.

POV George:

What's wrong with him? Does he regret being with me? Regret being stuck here in England because of me? Why didn't he say that before?

After the argument, I fled to our bedroom. Not a profitable idea. Everything here smells like him. When I hear the door slam shut, a switch inside me flips. Warm, hot tears run down my cheeks.

I let myself fall next to the bed, on a small armchair, pull my legs to my chest. I let the tears run free. I cry and cry and cry.

All I want is that we let someone know about our relationship. I don't know what problem Clay has with that. He doesn't like to talk about it.