Thunder

4

POV Clay:

A few days have passed since the incident. I don't know how, but somehow we are now better and stronger than before. Nick and Darryl know about us. They support us wherever they can.

I can't say why I was afraid to tell them at all. Mainly because they are my two best friends next to George and have been for many years.

After all the chaos, George and I sat down a few more times and talked about my concerns, our fears, and especially our future. Our common future.

But of course, it also means that we might make our relationship public after all. We both thought it was best. From now on, since we live together, it will happen again and again that one of them suddenly bursts into the room or that you hear something.

Some will not understand that I moved suddenly, and my stream times will also change. It raises questions. Plus, I've never been good at leaving George alone. Since we now live together, it makes it even worse for me to keep my hands from him.

But how do we do it? Should I do a face reveal, or should I not? Actually, I don't need to do anything, just start a video or a stream with George, where we explain our situation. I don't have to be seen in the camera or present myself in front of it.

Maybe we'll just do a stream in which either I can only be seen halfway or I sit next to the camera. So, I'm still there and can talk to George and the chat, but nobody sees me. I think that's the best solution.

But there is still no question. His stream or mine? But after discussing the pros and cons, we agreed on George's Stream. It would be a lot more complicated for me to rearrange my stream for the face cam than just take his.

So, we chose a day. The stream should run in two days. I still have some concerns, and I'm extremely nervous, but having George by my side helps a lot. Still, I haven't been able to sleep deeply since then.

Very different from George, who can now lie quietly next to me in bed even in heavy rain and light thunderstorms. Of course, he still has problems with thunderstorms, but he relaxes visibly faster when I'm next to him.

So now too. I lie awake in bed with George sleeping next to me with one arm around his waist. I just love to watch him sleep. I am so overjoyed to be able to call him my friend. I wouldn't trade George for anything in the world.

It is precisely for this reason that I cannot sleep. Every free minute I have to remember that I have to leave him. I don't want to, but I have to. And he doesn't know anything about it yet.

I don't know how to tell him that, either. I'll be gone in exactly three days. So, after our outing with the whole world, we only have one day together. Then we're separated again.

As if he had sensed that I was thinking of him, he moves in my arms and clenched his hands more in my t-shirt. Even when the weather is good currently, there is no thunderstorm or rain, George has nightmares occasionally.

It's always different things, but mostly it's about some childhood trauma. Unfortunately, I don't know how to help him other than to be there for him.

So, I look for a comfortable position and slowly release his cramped hands from me. With one arm under his body, I pull him onto my chest. As soon as he relaxes again, I loosely wrap my arms around him and slowly stroke his back in circular motions.

As soon as I can feel his even breath on my neck, I try to relax again. Of course, my thoughts from only now come back. Great, I don't have a quiet minute to myself without thinking about it.

In any case, in the next two days, I have to be able to gently teach George somehow. Unfortunately, I don't know how long I'll be away. That's the worst part of the whole thing.

I sigh, kiss George on the forehead and close my eyes. For the next few hours, I try to get some sleep at least. Usually, I find it easier with George next to me. But it takes me a very long night for my mind to calm down.

POV George:

I've gotten so used to Clay, that I can't imagine life without him. After we've got all the problems out of the way, I focus entirely on him.

I love falling asleep next to him every evening and waking up in his arms every morning. To be honest, I don't know, how I live without him before.

Sure, we talked to each other every day, but to know what he looks like now and above all, to be able to call him my boyfriend, is something different. Better and much, much nicer. I hope, of course, that he thinks about it as much as I do.

When I slowly wake up in the early hours of the morning, I am a little confused at first. I remember exactly that I went to bed alone, but now I wake up exactly on Clay. He has his arms wrapped tightly around me.

I feel it would be better not to wake him up, so I just lie there and enjoy the moment. I slowly move my arms a little and run one hand under his T-shirt. My hand comes to rest over his heart, where I feel his heart beating steadily and regularly.

Even if he wanted to hide it, I know that he has had extreme sleep problems for the past few days. Not that we both have had good sleep rhythms before, but it's a bit mixed up with him at the moment.

I almost had a small heart attack when Clay suddenly winced. I lift my head and look at his face with concern. He screwed up his eyebrows a little and looks like something is hurting him.

Immediately I am on alert. I prop myself up a little more with my arm and try to shake his shoulder lightly. I don't really want to wake him up, but when he seems like this, I'm worried.

He doesn't wake up, but something else happens. He speaks in his sleep. Well, he does that a lot, but mostly it's just something incoherent.

"I'm sorry ..."

What is he sorry for? Even in the faint light from the moon that shines through our bedroom window, I can see that his forehead is wrinkled.

I carefully raise my hand and run my fingers over his face. He seems to feel this too because he follows my hand and stretches for the warmth of my hand.

"I'm sorry, George ..."

My hand stops moving. I freeze in seconds. What does that mean? A shiver runs down my spine and suddenly, I feel freezing cold. I don't like this feeling at all.

What is he apologizing for? What is he hiding? Why doesn't he talk to me about it? All of these questions run faster and faster in my head. This uncomfortable feeling increases.

"George ..."

This time his voice is so distorted in pain. His face has changed too. He now looks like he's about to cry. Why do I make him cry? What have I done wrong?

I think back and forth whether I should wake him up now and whether I should just confront him. But then the decision is made for me when a single tear rolls down his cheek.

"... because I have to leave you ..."

Then a world went black for me.