My Personal Diary

Monday, March 13, 2015.

Have you ever seen those movies and they just inspire you? Or you read an incredible book and suddenly all you want to do is become the main character? I love it when that happens. When the author/ directer has so much power to affect their viewers in such a positive way. well that's basically what just happened to me.

i just came home from school and was about to put on my usual favorite show and sit down and do my homework (if you haven't seen skins you absolutely need to. It's beautiful)

but one of those pop up adds for a new movie that came out came up and it intrigued me. Basically it was about a girl who was way into older men and she had a fucked up life and she write about it. Its called Ask me Anything and it is one of my new favorites. Strongly recommended.

Anyways, it is that movie that has inspired me to begin this story. One day I want to look back and remember all of the things I did and the way I felt. And i guess that that is why I am writing on my shitting laptop, sitting on my hard wood floor hurting my bum and blasting as it is. (an amazing band that if you don't know them I order you to stop reading and go look them up bc Patty Walters will one day be my husband, even though my favorite band is actually Set it Off and Cody Carson will always be my one true love, but anyways I am getting off topic)

In one of As it Is' songs they sing "The only thing that has changed is that the monsters went from under my bed into the inner depths of my head" or something like that. And that I think resembles me very well.

From a young age, I have always been very mature for my age. I don't know what it was. Maybe my 3 older brothers. Or my parents divorcing when I was about 6 years old causing my to grow a bit more mature than I should have. Or my dad marrying a complete and total bitch (don't get me wrong she is ok sometimes but she has caused a lot of drama in my family and some days I just wish she was gone) which led me to be on my own a lot more than I should have been. Whatever it was, I've always been a lot older than everyone else in my classes. That's probably why I had sex with a 16- well now 17 year old. And there were plenty of other guys.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a slut. Think of me what you want but I had perfectly good reasons to do the things that I did, but those are for another time. Another time when I am not writing this one the train and pretty sure the old creepy man sitting behind me is reading this over my shoulder. Anyways, have a good day/night. Stay Strong

xx, anon.