Psychopath Diaries

Wednesday, August 26, 1998

               Wednesday, August 26, 1998

My new therapist is nice I suppose.

After Margaret, (the nice lady with fiery red hair and tired green eyes) told me I was a psychopath, I continued seeing her for 8 more years.

She finally retired and I stopped seeing a therapist for about a year. I was doing fine until a rather unfortunate incident landed me back in the chair, this time with someone new.

I've been seeing him for four years now.

Ive observed that most therapists would probably benefit from a therapist of their own.

I mean, what qualifies a therapist to be a therapist? I mean, yes, they went to college, studied psychology and now they're here using their degree the way they planned to, but what makes their mind more sound then mine?

What makes their mind so much sounder?

I know my minds not the way it should be and I don't care that I'm here, but what makes them think they don't need it as much as me?

There has to be some form of disorder for a therapist to be any good.

Ive noticed they're all a little broken.

Maybe they weren't when they started, but I imagine after listening to the stories of the people who come through they'd have to get a little "crazy" themselves.

Thats another thing, what makes a person crazy?

Its like people saying no ones normal, but what if being crazy is normal?

Its just like saying people need to be skinny because being fat is unacceptable, but how does that make sense when 2/3 of American adults are fat, or obese?

I guess if you don't consider yourself fat you're going to think its disgusting. Just the same as being self proclaimed "normal". You're going to think being "crazy" is something sick and disgusting.

When you hear the word psychopath, what do you think?

Do you think of someone, waking up in the morning, making her coffee, sending her kids to school and going to a job in a law firm? Probably not, but thats what many psychopaths are capable of doing and what they do on a regular basis.

When people think of psychopaths, they think, Gacy, Dahmer, Manson, and in fact they were/are psychopaths, but they're the very few psychopaths that acted on the urge to kill.

See "crazy" can mean so many things.

To me "crazy" is the Jeffrey Dahmers and John Wayne Gacy's of the world. But crazy to me isn't just defined in a single word like psychopath.

Crazy is defined by actions, and I think the actions should be absolutely dreadful for it to be counted as crazy.

Someone who is seen skipping down a street happily whistling a random tune would be considered crazy by most. But why is it crazy to be so happy, You can skip down a street and whistle?

I will never understand "crazy".