does he feel the same? (shyan) (COMPLETE)

Chapter 26 - weapons

Ryan's POV

The librarian looks slightly bemused when he sees me at the entrance for the third morning in a row. 'Morning Ryan!'

'Hey Noah.'

'Not many people are this interested in Latin texts, you know. Especially ancient legends.'

I shrug apologetically. 'Just curious, I guess.'

I take up residence in my usual chair, a pile of demon-oriented texts beside me. I've spent hours pouring over any mention of reaching hell, and fighting what resides there. Some of these dusty manuscripts are absolute crap, but anything that might help me is stacked on the desk next to a flask of coffee and my ink-spotted notes.

I still wake up every night reaching across the bed for a man who is no longer there, my heart aching so badly its hard to breath, but these past few days have been... less painful. At least I have a purpose again.

After that moment outside the bodega, I realised that I am the only one who knows just how much influence demons have on our world, and how they can manipulate our emotions. Hell - I've experienced it firsthand. And that's why I'm here, working out some semblance of a plan.

One - find a weapon
Two -  go to hell
Three - fight demons + stop demonic influence on earth

Easy, right?

I try my hardest not to think about the fact that Shane will be down there too, probably relishing in the pain he has caused me. I try not to think about how much I miss him, or how empty I feel without him. Instead, I focus on my hatred - the rage I feel at his betrayal.

Swallowing my emotions, I walk towards the main desk of the library.

'Hey - do you have anything about, like, ancient swords? Demon-fighting swords?' I refuse to blush, despite how weird my questions are.

The librarian - Noah - pushes his glasses up his nose. 'Um. I actually have a sword. Some rich guy gave it to the library.'

'Seriously?' I can't believe my luck. 'Can I see it?'

'Sure.' He leads me to a basement and lifts up a loose floorboard. 'Is this the kind of thing you were looking for?'

'Holy shit. That's exactly what I was looking for.' It's a gold-hilted longsword, ancient runes carved into the shining blade.

'Beautiful, isn't it?'

'Can I borrow it?' I scramble to think of an excuse when he looks at me quizzically. 'For, um, PhD research?'

He sighs through his nose. 'I'm not really supposed to lend it out, but I've also never seen someone so invested in all this stuff. It's nice to finally meet someone who shares my interests.'

'So... is that a yes?'

He smiles. 'Yeah, I guess so.' He passes the sword to me, and it's hilt is warm and comfortingly heavy in my hand.

'Thanks Noah - I owe you one.' I grin at him and realise its my first genuine smile in a long time.

'No problem!' He fiddles with his shirt cuffs. 'And, um, did you maybe want to get some coffee sometime?'

I blink. 'I'm sorry. Noah, I- I can't. I mean - I would love to - it's just...' I wince apologetically. 'Things are kind of complicated at the moment.'

He keeps his eyes trained on the ground as we walk back upstairs. 'It's fine. I get it.'

'I'm really sorry, Noah. You're a great guy, it's just not the right time for me.'

He chuckles. 'It's okay, Ryan. Really.'

'Thanks, dude.'

'I'll see you around - don't lose my sword.'

I wave as I leave the library, sword glinting in the watery mid-morning sunlight. Was I too quick to turn Noah down? He was cute and all but... I was telling the truth. Things are too complicated right now. I'm not ready for anything like that. Not when I can't even sleep through the night for dreams of someone else.

I shake my head, clearing it of all thoughts but what I need to do next. I have my weapon - and that means its time for stage two of the plan.

It's time to go to hell.