Ghosts of our Pasts

Chapter Eight

Jinx shivered as she knelt on the rooftop, her mind slowly returning to a more calm, quiet state. The onslaught of memories had been relentless, and the images and voices they had conjured had nearly driven her out of her mind. She remembered scratching her head so hard she thought she was going to draw furrows in her skull, and she gently felt the back of her head, grimacing at the feel of her hair matted with dried up blood.

She breathed in deeply and realized her face was wet; likely from crying, since it never rained this deep down into Zaun. She let out another shiver, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. She rarely got chilled, but this wasn't a shiver from the cold. This was something deeper, more fundamental. At some level, she was aware that her... episodes, were not really normal, but by and large they came and went quickly, and she didn't really care anyway. This one, however, had been way heavier than usual. She had no clue how much time had passed, and how long she'd sat there like that.

A loud, clanging noise made her look up, and she saw the door to her old home open wide. The tall, ugly one came out first, and he was carrying Puppy over his shoulder. Her eyes focused and she quickly saw that Puppy was unconscious, causing her to feel a brief glimmer of... concern? Behind them came the fat, disgusting one, but no others came out after him. The two of them rejoined the large group of gang members they had left outside, who greeted them loudly.

Why was Puppy being carried? Were they taking him to get help?

"That doesn't really look like they're planning to help him," Nicest voice said, laced with an overtone of worry.

As if to prove the words true, Slane threw Puppy down on the ground and ordered several of his men to drag him along as the giant group of survivors started the long trek back to their own base.

Jinx turned her attention back to the building where she'd lived for more years than anywhere else, chewing on her bottom lip as the memories of happier times again threatened to swirl up and take her away, but she closed her eyes, bit her lip until she tasted blood, and willed them down. She swallowed deeply, and let out several deep breaths before opening her eyes again. She already knew what she was going to see, and she dreaded it at the same time.

Silco's face was shimmering right in front of her, looking so real that she couldn't help herself, and she reached out with her hand to fondly touch his cheek, like she'd done so many times before. She stared at him for several long moments, drinking in every feature. His hawkish face, the piercing slate-blue iris, the toxic mutilation of the left side of his face, and of course, his faltering eye, that she had treated with a tiny pin prick of Shimmer hundreds and hundreds of times. Something he'd only ever trusted her with, and no one else.

Tears were streaming down her face again, and she fought to keep from crying even harder, her lip wobbling badly between her teeth. "I love you," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Goodbye, dad."

His image tore apart like smoke in the wind, and then he was gone.

She took one last look at the building, then resolutely turned her back on it for the last time in her life. She knew she'd never be back; there was nothing left here for her. Not in this building, not in this fucking city. Hell, if she was honest, there was nothing left for her anywhere in this world! Everything she'd ever done, everything she'd ever touched, everyone she'd ever loved, it had all come to ruin. Because of her. Because of what she was...

"You're a Jinx!" Violet screamed in her mind, and her head flinched as if she again received the blow from Vi's open palm, like she had back then.

She nodded. There was no point in denying it. She was a Jinx! What was her tally now? A mother, three fathers, two brothers. A sister, if you wanted to get technical about it. A woman she'd loved. All dead or lost, most of them directly by her hands. There likely wasn't anyone else on this cursed planet who'd done so spectacularly well in destroying people close to them like her. It was the one thing she was really, really fuckin' good at!