REMEMBER THE NIGHTS | newt

twelve - ...why carry this burden alone?

wc ; 2,016

warnings ; light angst, reader celebrates Christmas

Finally, Christmas day has arrived. Despite the ache in your chest and the chill in the air that seemed to intensify the loneliness that followed you around for almost a month, you couldn't help but feel the tiniest glimmer of joy for the day.

Every year since you could remember, including this year, you woke up before anyone else. The sun was barely creeping over the horizon, and the clock on your phone read 6:17 am. You never understood how your body managed to wake up early, especially when you used to stay up until 1 am reading - or, in this case, researching nearby colleges.

You tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as you could. It was still dark, but the light from the decorations on the other houses nearby were flowing faintly through the window, and the lights on the tree had been left on overnight. Gifts were piled underneath it, perfectly wrapped or bagged - Maggie's doing, you supposed, seeing as your father was never able to wrap gifts properly.

Just as you turned to head into the kitchen and grab a snack, the door down the hall creaked open. Peaking around the wall you spotted Chuck shuffling from his room, bleary-eyed and still half-asleep. His pajama pants were too big for him, and with each step he took, he stepped on the bottoms of them.

He made it halfway to the couch when he finally spotted you. "G'mornin'," he whispered, waving as he dropped his body onto the cushions.

"Morning." You repeated, grabbing a box of cereal before heading over to the couch and sitting down beside the boy. The two of you sat in silence as the sun rose slowly, both of you grabbing small handfuls of cereal from the box every once in a while.

When everyone else had finally woken up, it was nearly 8 am, and it was an almost perfect Christmas Day. A light snowfall began right as your parents shuffled their way into the living room, and everyone joked and laughed as you unwrapped the presents. You might not have talked directly to Thomas that morning, but neither of you gave the other a cold stare or a scoff the whole morning.

Maggie made breakfast afterward. You helped your dad clean up the wrapping paper that was left over as she cooked, the smell of bacon and eggs filling the house as you went. You ate, like you always have, as a family, chatting and laughing like nothing had even happened before everyone split from the table to do their own things.

Thomas took his things upstairs to put them away and get ready to see Teresa later on, your dad went upstairs to get dressed for the day, and Maggie and Chuck went to start putting together the Lego Death Star he got from her and your dad. You took everything you got upstairs as well.

The clothes your aunt and uncle bought you were going to be washed later, the books from Valerie and Grace were put on your bookshelf after you sent them thank you texts. The last thing to do was to set up the computer from Maggie and your dad. Both you and Thomas got one, and they had explained that you would need them for college. It was one of the fancy ones that was both a tablet and a computer, so you could do everything you needed on it.

Moving over to your closet, you shelved the box that the computer came in. You looked down at the storage containers filled with your childhood things, eyes settling on the item of clothing you had been avoiding for nearly a month.

Newt's jacket, folded perfectly, resting on top of the bins.

An ache in your heart shuddered your breath as you stared at the canvas jacket. It was all you could do as you thought, long and hard, about what to do with it. Finally, you came to a decision, and began to change your clothes. You weren't sure if you were choosing to give it back because it was Christmas, or if you were tired of the near-constant reminder, and the ever-present ache in your heart.