The sound of plastic snapping was enough to startle Jin. He adjusted his posture as he watched Ela's eyes holding disbelief and panic. He could not see from where he sat, but he knew it was her pillbox that broke. It was the kind you could purchase at the drugstore made of cheap plastic. Ela had had that one for a long time. He was sure it was the translucent lavender one with the words 'medications' on them that had been scratched off over time.
Their eyes met and he swore she was begging him to say something to her. Jin looked back at her, unable to produce any action that might help. So, he did what he does best. He tore his eyes from hers and averted it to his hands that were shoved in his pocket.
"Ela dear, we know this can come as a shock for you." His mother spoke again. "But don't worry. We're already practically family." She said now turning to Jin.
"Sweetheart, we prepared a booth for you both to have your dinner there. It should be best that you two begin planning and getting to know each other a little bit more."
Jin stood up immediately, obeying his mother. Ela followed suit and they were led by the staff to a round table with a matching round banquette. He allowed her to take a seat first and called for two menus to be given to them. He began to order the usual meals they had. He could remember which dish she reached for the most, which was steamed bok choy with garlic sauce and butter chicken. Ela looked at him as he mentioned the two dishes. She set her menu down and waited for him to finish.
"Anything to drink?" The wait asked and Jin asked for a pitcher of water.
"Yes, I would like a raspberry iced tea please." She said and then returned her menu to them.
If there was a silence more deafening than the ones that hold you in suspense in horror movies, it would be this one between the both of them. Neither wanted to speak first. What would they say anyway? 'I knew this was coming?' No. Absolutely not.
Her hands returned to the pillbox in her pocket. There were two pieces to it now. Broken, just like her; broken, by her. Ela could not believe it. Her head snapped to him, in both confusion and anger slowly building up. How can he remain so calm and stoic? Then again, she remembered that he rarely showed emotion at all. This man who sat beside her could go through a storm or any natural disaster and his facial expression would remain the same. It was both alarming and hilarious at the same time. Ela wanted to burst out laughing, but she decided not to. This would perhaps reinforce what he already thought of her: insane.
She took her hand out of her pocket and held out the pillbox. The word 'medication' had rubbed off due to how many times she had used it. This was her constant companion, always in her purse or pocket. She reached for it when she felt nervous, just feeling the sharp edge gave her reassurance that things would be alright. Ela would clasp and unclasp it when she found herself in long conversations that she did not want to be in. It was strange to call a small plastic box your friend, but she did it anyway because it was just like her to do so.
Her eyes landed on the four adults who were trying hard not to be obvious at observing them. Quickly, she moved a little closer to Jin, who gave her a strange look as soon as she was an inch closer. "Jin, they're staring at us."
His eyes turned to the table where they had been and their parents quickly pretended to speak to each other. "Let them," was the only thing he said.
Ela pressed on, hoping that something would come out of this. "Look, I know you don't particularly like me, but I hope that we can agree on an arrangement to at least come out of this alive."
What she said next began to sound like a mixture of panic, fear, and pure rambling. She thought, that if Jin had muted her the past ten years, then what would be so different if she let everything out this time? Ela was sure that Jin did not want this. She knew so very little about him, but this is something she was certain about.
"Maybe we can play along until and tell them to wait. We're given the freedom to choose the wedding date right? My parents never mentioned it yet but I am assuming they will let us do it because they already bloody engaged us without our consent. I don't think they would take more than that."
Jin carefully listened to her ramblings. He knew it was not her speaking, but rather, the drugs she had ingested, probably more than the prescribed amount. So, he let her continue.
"We can drag the whole process out. They will tire of it eventually and give up this whole plan of theirs to merge our families. What will they gain anyway? My family isn't into business. My parents are doctors, and yours are in a completely different field. We are totally different Jin. You agree with me on that right? Besides, we barely know each other. I doubt we will agree on anything at all."
Jin only looked at her. His blank expression as he faced her was one he tried his very best to master. It took almost all of his will to do this, and by the end of each night they would meet, he would melt into his bed and fall asleep right away. Yet somehow, hearing her now with her thoughts unfiltered, concerned him. His walls began to falter, he felt the corner of his eyes soften. That was all he would give her, this slight - microscopic - change. Any more, he feared he would give himself away.
He was not wrong. Ela saw the way his eyes changed. She had been watching him for so long that she had mastered every crevice and line on his face. She had names for all the faces he would make at the dinner table while he said nothing. Mind you, there wasn't much variety to them, but she could tell each apart. She found herself doing this now. The face he showed was called Nibs, like the lost boy from Peter Pan.
And it was true. Jin was at a loss for what to say. We are totally different Jin. We barely know each other, she had said. It repeated again and again in his mind. He did not believe this, so he could not agree. They were not totally different and he knew her. He knew her a lot more than she thought. He knew that she liked art, she studied design and art history after all. They could agree on that perhaps. The list could go on in his mind, but he stopped himself.
Yes, Jin knew her. He knew a lot about her from observing her, listening to her, and beholding her at such a distance as he had the past decade. She wasn't a quick read. One might think that way about her at first, he was guilty of that on the night he had snubbed her at that dinner when she interrupted his sketching. This, Jin knew, was what solidified Ela's hesitation to speak to him on the times they met after that. Though it wasn't ideal, he played along to this. That way, he could keep her within reach, where he would be able to see her and not sabotage himself.
As the aroma of the dishes neared them, he took the napkin shaped like a swan on top of his plate and unfolded it with a snap. The fabric fell limp on his lap, and he smoothed the edges to cover his jeans. Ela did the same. She had stopped speaking as soon as there was a shift in Jin's composure. What she would give to know what goes on in that head of his. Curious.
With the dishes set in front of them, and the drinks served, Jin thought to himself as he picked up the chopsticks and pressed to align them on the tabletop, that maybe it was time. He turned and gave a look that petrified Ela. She did not have a name for this face, as she had never seen him do this before. The a corner of his plump lips raised slightly into a smile. His eyes, for the first time, settled on her for more than two seconds, and she did not know what to do. Was this what felt all those years ago when she was the one constantly observing him?
Jin picked up a stalk of bok choi with the most garlic on them and placed it at the center of her plate, followed by a piece of the buttered chicken. If Ela's anxiety levels were off before she got here, she had no idea how to quantify what she felt now. What Jin said next just about did it for her. She would have no chance at this arrangement. And even though she was not standing, she felt her knees buckle as he inched himself close to her to pouring water in her glass as he said softly with a tone a little lower than usual:
"I never said I didn't like you Elara."
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Author's Note
Was it too soon? Sorry! I just couldn't wait to get things moving between these two!
Comment below your thoughts!
See you guys soon!
Love,
Pepper
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Abyss - Kim Seokjin AU Fanfiction
RomanceAbyss | a-byss | /əˈbis/ noun a deep or seemingly bottomless chasm.
