Abyss - Kim Seokjin AU Fanfiction

Chapter 4 - Ela

It was a snowy day, at the end of November. Ela made her way into a museum that had the works of Claude Monet. It was a limited-time exhibit that visited the city, and she thought she could not pass this up.

As soon as she entered the hall, there were about five people in the room. Two older couples held each other as they observed the paintings. Ela smiled and began to look forward to the time when she could do this herself. There was not much to dwell on as she watched the older woman clutch her partner's arm as they spoke in hushed tones. She simply thought, someday soon, perhaps.

She began where the arrows had pointed to. The Magpie, a scene of what appeared to be a farm gate, covered in a blanket of snow. A magpie sits at the top rail of the gate with the sun rising or setting behind it - she could not tell. Ela thought there was a beauty to this solitude, somehow, the cold felt comforting.

As she moved around the room, reading and observing each painting. Monet's strokes were always so heavenly to look at. It was as if the angels had guided his hands, teaching him where to lay the paint on the canvas, exactly so each stroke was made of magic. Her head tilted as she smiled.

At last, the final piece is at the center of the room. Water Lilies and Japanese Bridge - a painting that felt as quiet as it looked. If Ela closed her eyes, she could imagine herself on a gondola, sailing past the water lilies, and the willow trees touching her hair. The sun would slightly kiss her face and the air would smell like freshly baked lemon squares.

And indeed, it was what she was doing. Her eyes were closed as she sat on the bench in front of the painting. In her mind, she was there on that boat and it was spring.

The couples had gone, their voices trailing off as they exited the hall. The fifth person in the room remained with her. It was just them now.

He watched her smile, eyes closed, as he had a million times. He had not known what brought her here, but he thanked whatever alchemy that did. 

When Elara opened her eyes and looked around, puzzled by the silence. She was surprised at how loud her whisper sounded in the empty room. "Jin," She said his name in a breath.

He looked up at her and gave a smile barely noticeable. "Hello, Elara."

They had been nineteen then.

* * * * * * *

There had been days when she thought that things would be different. Now that they are, she would give up all of what she had just to go back to the way things used to be.

After their dinner, she had gone home and screamed into her pillow. Then, not knowing what to do next, she consumed a bottle of red wine and went to bed. She did not know if it was just her or the pills she downed, but she could not sleep.

I never said I didn't like you Elara. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Ela screamed again. Her hands began to shake, and her breath got shorter each time she inhaled. Every time this happened, she would take more pills. Unfortunately, she had finished it all.

Why would he say that? Why would he lie? Of all the things she thought he was, a liar was not one of them. He was honest - brutally honest at that. Jin knew what to say, and when to say it. Had he been putting on a show? Could their parents hear them from where they sat? Ela wasn't sure. But, if they could, then he must have meant to say that to save himself.

The thoughts she conjured in her head began to consume her. She began to hate him, doubt herself, and hate everything around her. If Ela had been the type to fling a vase across the room, she would have done it by now. But as her thoughts spiraled violently, the ache in her heart worsened.

Ela knew enough about Jin to know that he wanted his own life too. In a way, they were the same. They had a desire to regain control of the only thing that they had earned. She knew what it felt like, being pulled back in chains into the arms that bore her, once again as she had seen the light at the end of the tunnel. There was no escape, not for the both of them.

And so, Ela thought that if she couldn't have her way, she would let Jin have his. She would play this out until the end, and find a way out that would help the both of them. If she got in trouble, and her parents would disown her, she might have the freedom she wanted and run away to the west. It was not ideal, but it was freedom still.

That was that, Ela had decided. This was her plan now, everything else would be on hold.

There was a voice at the back of her mind telling her to speak to Jin about this, maybe they might work together. No. He probably would not agree to this. He, was obedient, and a good son. This was what made her decide to take the fall. She would do this for him, no matter the cost. If one of them should have a shot at happiness, Ela decided that it would be Jin.