Regulus Black

Morals?

Tw soon death, war, abuse

Regulus 

Sirius ran down the hall pass my open door. I got up, walking down the hall, and stood in his doorway watching him.

"Regulus, it's time."

I frowned. He never called me by my real first name, it had to be serious (no pun intended). "What?"

"I..." he stopped what he was doing, which was packing. "I actually came out to them.." he laughed nervously. "I never even came out to you, just.. I hate them reg, it just slips out"

"What? That you are snogging Remus?"

He smiled. I never called lupin by his first name but it seems more appropriate. "Yeah.. exactly."

"Hm, kissing a half blood would get them angry."

"I think me having the non-pure blood phase and the gay phase at the same time sort of angered them"

I smiled a little. "What are you going to do?"

He sobered and shoved more clothes into his bag. "I'm sorry reg.. I'm going to James.. I'm not coming back"

"Hmm, I figured it would happen at some point."

He grabbed something and held it just out of my view. "Regulus I.. i love you, even though you've chosen this. I'm less angry now, just sad that it's come to this. " he held my face. "You have some good un you, even if you do terrible things, as soon as that good dies, you do."

I didn't know if that was a threat or a warning for my soul or what. "I.. don't know what to say."

He shoved a small box in my hand but I was focused on him. "One try.." He said to himself and then to me, "come with me."

"I'm against you. I'm a death eater, I'm not brave.. and anyway, they'll only let you go if i stay.. I'm not brave, Sirius, I can't do it. I am the way they want me to be."

"Let me go..?" He said, confused. But the thought left him as he heard the screams of our parents.

***

I missed my brother more than ever. A part of me knew that it was more important to get over the loss of my brother from my life than to research the past of my leader.

But the smarter part knew it was impossible. With my brother on the other side of this war, and the lack of morals to match the death eaters, I was lost-

lack of morals? What were my morals?

Did I ever want to be part of the murderous blood supremacist group?

I had no choice, this was the life my parents set for me.

I was almost eighteen. I didn't have to do that.

I had no choice, it was the side that was going to win.

Why?

Because dark magic was strong

With limits.

I can't afford to have this conversation with myself.

I can't afford to live my life without having this conversation.

Unfortunately I missed my brother.

I missed my brother so much.

I got back to the dungeons and I went straight to my room, closing my curtains. I put silencing spells and cried for the first time in a long time.

***

I walked down the hall with my slytherin friends. It was almost Valentine's Day and if I were to get a Valentine, it would have to be a pure-blood. I straightened my tie as I thought. I didn't want one, anyway, I was only twelve, but I would say yes if a suitable option presented themselves.