30 Days of Love

I Made A Mistake

Liam's POV 

What have I just done?

I unclench my hand, gazing down at the c shape marks left behind. As my blood regains control, flowing the way it's supposed to, my hand pulsates and new thoughts grow to the beat. Why did I say all those things? What's wrong with me?!

"Where's Joanna?"

I remove my sight from my hand, up towards Mom. Her close set eyes narrow upon me, searching for answers my lips conceal.

Meanwhile, my vine-covered lips aren't enough to bear the secret as the words clog my throat and a set of tears gloss my eyes.

"Liam Teo Brown.. W-what did you do?" Her eyebrows unscruch and her face grows emotionless with the same disappointment Jo had.

I flinch at her words understanding the worry and annoyance she held behind saying my full name.

"I-I.." My mouth cloaks the words as I attempt to tell her what I did wrong, hiding in fear that she'll have hatred for me.

"You what, Liam?" Her voice grows more irritated and before I know it, the words fly out of my mouth.

"I made a mistake. I tried to kiss Joanna and when she got mad at me, I-I just yelled at her."

Please don't hate me. I pray in my mind, glaring at everything rather than my mom. Oh please, don't hate me.

From the nightstand, my eyes connect to the picture of Joanna while we sat at Seafood Chic.

The picture was one I secretly took without her knowing as her attention was too busy peering around the room, amazed by everything, to the point that she didn't even pay attention to me.

God, I messed up.

Her hair, with roots as dark as the ocean floor that develops to a seafoam green halfway down, drags me to the realization that I may never see her again. That which passing second that occurs, is another second of me having no idea where she is at.

And with that, goosebumps crawl against my arms. If Joanna's parents know that we broke up, they won't accept her back into the family. They'll disown her like a stray dog and leave her to rot.

Fighting against time that so far is winning, I grab my phone that lies in front of the picture, urgently entering my password.

Mom's footsteps against the carpet become louder as she walks towards me. And, although I'm not paying attention to her, I slightly see her lean down in the background of my phone and feel her soft hands grab onto my knees, breaking my focus.

She says with soft-spoken words, "Relax, you're going to be okay." She stares at my trembling hands. "I'll call the police, file a missing child's report."

Before I realize I should stop her, I'm drowning in how calm she is. Mom's not mad, she's more scared than anything. And the thought of that holds more fear in me than her bashing me for my actions.

As she is about to career off, I grab her arm. "Don't. Her parents will find out." My nose flares as I release my grip.

She closes her eyes and nods, understanding the consequences of what will happen if she were to call the police. Then soon after, she's gone, leaving nothing except for sadness in the room.

Yet, I know crying and beating myself up for my actions will not solve them. I have to take action to do that.

I press Joanna's name on my phone and press my phone to my head. Though rather than ringing, a robotic voice speaks as her voicemail plays.

My heartbeat races and sweat pulses through my palms, threatening to make my phone slip.

Why did I try to kiss her? Why couldn't I just keep my mouth closed once she got angry? How could I be so stupid?

I dial one before stammering, "H-hi, it's Liam. I understand you probably don't want to hear my voice and I get it...I messed up. I shouldn't have said what I said...but I'm worried. And I just want to know if you're safe. Call me back...please." I take small breaks in my sentences, fighting the urge to weep until I end the voicemail.

Having no time to rest, I go on messaging her, hoping she'll answer me through there.

I'm so sorry, Jo. I know I messed up and I want to make things right. Anything, I'll do anything, just please text or call me and come home... I need you.

I send the message, pleading for a response back. But as another minute passes, Jo doesn't respond nor open my message.

I'm taken to a state of worry as I survey the delivered label below my message, begging it turns to read. What if she gets kidnapped? What if she hates me for the rest of my life or what if I don't get a hold of her?

There's no way she is safe. Where does she have to go? She can't go back to her old home nor can she get a hotel.

Jo's a straggler out there. It's her amongst the earth. And in a town like mine, forty bucks will only last you a week if not less.

Flashes of her sitting in alleys, crying herself to sleep, flash through my mind. And with that thought, I get off my bed and put a pair of grey tennis shoes on.

You have to chase after you. You can't sit here and feel pity for yourself. This is your fault, if she gets hurt it's on you.

I run out of the house, searching everywhere for her. Around the house, down the block, behind trees, behind bushes, everywhere she could be.

However, Jo's gone, vanished from the Earth with no trace. She's missing, absent from this neighborhood, missing amongst the darkness.

Despite all of this, as the stars twinkle above, smiling down at me, I can't help but feel this is fate. That in some way, God presented this journey for Joanna to help guide her towards the life she was given or maybe I'm just being crazy.

All in all, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many tries I must take, all I want is for my dear Joanna to realize my actions were a mistake and for her to come home safe and sound.