Longing For Paradise

Chapter 11

If the world stopped at your feet,
And bowed in respect, never forget
That it I who made them do so.
Never forget that it was me first.

~Makhami al Layl

Layla knew  what was to come. She had dreaded it.

When her friend first started her affair, she had no particular thought on it, mostly because it seemed unreal. She didn't dismiss it after a while as Noor grew secretive, her letters thicker. Layla could admit she was tempted more than once to look in on the letters but she respected Noor's privacy. Surely it wouldn't be that serious.

Except it did become serious. Noor grew fanciful because of those letters. She had had already thoughts on the growing education disparity between men and women, but those were just thoughts she and Noor would discuss, they never fruited into anything.

Every time she finished one of those letters, it seemed as if Noor had more dangerous ideas. She didn't know that it wasn't just her who wanted women to be formally educated. She didn't know that the city's council grew hostile to those particular ideas, wanting instead to make to limit who could have access to books and libraries. The Emir's library was one that was always public, at least that was the rumour on the street. Books seemed to be a tighter leash than ever before, and yet Noor would receive books and pamphlets on radical ideas that challenged her the established structure. She would discuss them with Layla, more like talk on her own as Layla's anxieties grew. She was just waiting until either of them moved on and stopped this business of exchanging letters.

"Noor, are you sure?" She asked.

"Layla, what do you mean?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to- I don't know, he seems shady that's all."

"You don't even know who he is." Layla bit her lip and asked Noor who it was and her friend told her.

"Layla I don't understand why you're suddenly against it. All this time you were okay with me exchanging letters-"

"I wasn't. I was not okay with you exchanging letters with some random stranger but I didn't stop you because you seemed happy and because I never thought it come to you anything." Layla came beside her friend. "Noor, you don't know this man or his dispositions," she took Noor's hand in hers, "you've just been exchanging letters. He's not right." She gazed at her friend's face with pleading eyes.

"Layla, if this is about-"

"It's not." Layla threw her friend's hand away and stood up to face away. Noor stood in front of Layla.

"Layla, what's this about then?" Noor demanded.

"Noor you're my friend and I hold you in every regard, so just stay away from that man, that's all I want."

"Layla," Noor couldn't help but raise her voice.

"Noor," Layla gripped her shoulders, "tell me, what do you know about this man? Have you ever asked yourself that? You've exchanged letters with him but you've never lived with him. You don't know him or his parents or where he's from. He could be a Berber for God's sake and you wouldn't know anything because you've been sucked into his world with his fancy words." A quiet breeze passed between them. "Where did he get those banned books from? I'm asking you, Noor, where did he get the books which were banned by the Emir himself?"

Tears welled up in both their eyes. Noor knew her friend was right.

"Noor," Layla started softly, "don't do this to yourself. Don't marry this man."

"He hasn't asked me to marry him." She replied quietly.

"But you want to marry him don't you?"

"I'm sick of you!" Noor burst. "I'm sick of this obsession you have with me. I'm not some plaything of yours-"

"Noor-"

"Please," she cried, "just leave."

The coloured glass shattered, as the pieces flew onto the ground, dust rising in its aftermath. Layla remembered seeing the labourers hard at work, demolishing the public entrance, watching as her only sanctuary got closed off. What she felt then couldn't compare to now though.

And over a man too, Layla thought to herself. She wanted to laugh. She knew that in another timeline, Noor would be laughing along with her. What had that man done to her? Noor, her heart cried, I'm afraid for you.

Noor was angry to say the least. She couldn't calm herself down. Her friend had left. Layla just left. No word, no fight. She didn't know how else. She just wanted time to think.

It pained her. Why couldn't Layla just see just how much she liked Firdous? Sure, she didn't know his name up until a few hours ago, and sure everything she knew about him was something he directly told her, but that didn't change the fact that she liked him. A lot. Loved, even. Why couldn't Layla just get along with Firdous?