NERDS

Chapter 5

"Jessie ..." I approach her slowly unsure if she is in a state of crying or laughter...

after the table incident and all that we managed to reduce the level of alcohol in her body before putting dear Jess into bed. I sent everyone home but Tom insisted he stay, how sweet. We went downstairs and cleared up while Jess was sleeping then I left him to come check on her.

this is how I ended up by her doorframe whilst she shook. I was only frozen for a moment before the friend in me snapped into action and went to sit by her. obviously she wasn't laughing that was just a stupid thought of mine, dumbass izzy.

"Jess what happend?" She's starting to shake, her breathing coming out in short raspy breaths. she's mumbling things I can't hear nor understand... I think she's having a panic attack... and worse I have no idea what to do.

"TOM BEDROOM NOW." maybe he will know what to do.

"What what I'm here," he bursts through the door, rather dramatically if I do say so but given the situation.

" She's crying and hyperventilating and mumbling, please help I think she's having a panic attack." I didn't even realise I was also crying until he brushed the tears from my cheeks,

"It's okay she's going to be okay calm down okay it's not going to help." shit I'm so selfish, she's the one in pain and I'm the one crying for fucks sake izzy, sort it out.

"Okay okay I'm calm now help please what do I do ?"

"Try holding her hand, if she pulls away then she wants space if not then she needs someone,"

I do as I'm told and hold her hand, she doesn't pull away which must be a good sign.

"Try talking to her nice and quiet, gentle think like she's a scared little kitten okay."

I whisper to her about our past, nice memories like the time we went to the beach at 11pm and walked all the way to the next town or the time we got the job at the ice cream shop and we got fired for eating the ice cream.

She's visibly getting calmer now her breathing is still raspy but more controlled and she's stopped shaking,

" I'm going to give you two some alone time okay," I forgot Tom was still here...

"Yeh thank you really I mean it."

"Anytime okay," he bends down and places a feather like kiss on my forehead, so light if I blinked I would have missed it but it was there.

Jess POV

I didn't mean to make this much mess out of it. he just showed back up on my door step the other morning, just like that he claimed to have changed and I trusted him like the naive fool I am. he fucked me over again and this time I would not drown my sorrows in razor blades and pills but in alcohol. no one but izzy knows about my past and she wasn't here. it was before i moved to this area, i left my past behind me but its followed me... taunting me, its never going to leave...

We are still in the same position as when I was crying I haven't moved and neither has she, Tom has given us space but we don't know what to say. The silence is fragile both of us scared to break it. I dont know why i cant just tell her, yeh i cant tell her, she didnt run when i first told her my story. so i inhale deeply before sitting up and looking izzy striaght in the eyes...

" hes back..."

"who jessie?" come on jess get it out,

"James is back."

Izzy POV

She looks up at me pure fear in her eyes, and she whispers, something I'd hoped I would never hear again. something I wish she never went through. but she did, and even now a year on it still haunts her.

"James is back" that's what she told me. what you don't know is James is jess's ex, it didn't end well and the whole mess really took a toll on Jess. I hope she just meant in her mind, the thoughts of him that haunted her were coming back but deep down I know that this is real... that that asshole is really back.

"Jessie I'm sorry, but I'm here with you this time okay. we can fight this, he's not going to get to you again I promise I will protect you."

She's looking at the floor, silent tears streaming out of her eyes.

"He's already been back and walked over me izz I let him in." wait what! I can't believe this,

"What do you mean?" She's trembling now, I'm afraid she might have another panic attack. i get up ready to call Tom for help incase anything happens, but sit back down again once she lets out a few shaky breaths.

"He showed up on my doorstep about a week ago, begging or forgiveness... I'm sorry izz I let him convince me he had changed. I was stupid enough to fall for it."

"What happened?"
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Whooo this chapter is way longer sorry for all the short ones :/ comment and vote please lovelies - Lily xx