Not Just A Friendship (Phanfic)

Chapter 5 (Dan's POV)

WARNING: There may be a trigger warning here. Ily guys. Stay safe♡

I was sitting on the couch watching Dr. Who with Phil and eating one of my favorite foods, Chinese food.

I took a deep breath and sighed. Would now be a good time to tell him about how I feel?

Probably not. We seem to be having a good time, and I don't want to risk ruining it.

Phil turned to me and said, "Dan, are you alright? You seem nervous about something."

I bit my lip and took a shaky breath. Now, would be the right time. He seems to be happy with the TV show, and hopefully I can say this, and he will be distracted. Then, I can still say it, but with a chance that he didn't hear me.

"Um, Ph-Phil? Can I confess something?" I asked shyly.

He didn't seem distracted. Oh no.

"Dan, don't be silly. I will always listen to you."

"Okay, I- Um, Well, you know how I always tell my fans I'm n-not gay?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah..." Phil said waiting for me to continue.

"W-well I.. I am," I said looking at the floor, desperately trying to avoid eye contact, "And, I... I kinda have feelings for you."

"Oh my god, Dan! Really?" He asked looking disappointed, which made me even more nervous.

"I can't believe you. That's disgusting! Don't you know that being gay is like a sin?" He asked, losing the beautiful sparkle in his eyes.

I shook slightly and said, "B-but, Phil, y-you said yourself that you're.. Um, bi."

Phil sighed angrily, "Dan! That's different. Being gay is gross and you should feel ashamed!"

I was close to tears and my voice cracked when I said, "P-Phil, I-I thought you were my friend."

"Stop being such a crybaby and man up, also I just can't.. Ugh, Dan, you absolutely disgust me!" Phil insulted me.

I felt my cheeks get wet and noticed I was now crying.

"I can't be your friend anymore, Dan. You are a terrible excuse for a human being!" Phil said, which only damaged me more.

I started full on sobbing and trembling. I can't believe I was rejected like that by someone who was supposed to be my best friend.

I ran off into my room and collapsed on my bed still sobbing.

I was terrified of being rejected, and now look what happened.

The person who I loved with all my heart and who was my whole world had just thrown a bunch of painful insults at me and rejected me, when I was completely honest about my feelings.

It took so much work to just confess to him, and now, he is disgusted in me.

I feel terrible and I'm starting to believe he was right, I am an absolute terrible excuse for a human being.

Then I felt like I was being shaken.
I heard a soft, familiar voice whisper say, "Shh, It's alright, Bear. I'm here. I won't let anything get you."

I woke up slowly and realized the voice was Phil.

Was I dreaming? I couldn't be. That was too realistic to be a dream.