Not Just A Friendship (Phanfic)

Chapter 6 (Phil's POV)

Something about Dan was definitely off.

He just wasn't being his humorous, sarcastic, self.

Dan was acting kinda depressed and quiet. That's not like the Dan I know and love. Sure, he may be slightly dark, but he is still very funny, cheerful, and likes to make the best of a situation. Or at least tries to. It usually just ends up being too awkward. But, that's Dan.

I hope he's okay. I'll talk to him later.

~

I walked into the flat and announced, "Dan! Can you help me put away groceries?"

Silence.

I slowly stepped into the lounge.

"Dan?"

Dan was staring off into space. He looked empty. That's not good at all.

"Dan are- are you okay?" I stuttered, "And please don't reply by screaming MCR lyrics."

Once again, silence.

Maybe he was listening to music? But he wasn't wearing headphones or earbuds.

I decided maybe he was just tired, and needed to be alone for a while.

"Okay," I sighed, "Talk later."

He inhaled softly.

At least he was breathing and healthy, I guess.

I started to walk into the kitchen but then I stopped in my tracks when I heard, "Ph-Phil?"

"Dan? What's up?" I asked, hoping for a response.

"Would you care if.. If I died?" He asked and looked worried, yet hardly focusing his vision.

"Dan.. Of course I would! You're my best friend and you mean everything to me!" I told him softly.

"Are you sure you're not just saying that?"

"I am completely sure," I added.

He looked down and sighed. What was he so sad about? He had a best friend who just told him how much he cared and he still looked hurt about something.

"What would you do if I just.. Died?" He asked again.

"I.. I don't know," I said looking at him, though he was still staring at the floor, "I wouldn't be able to live without you, Dan."

He looked slightly, but barely relieved.

I couldn't take seeing him so sad and let down.

We had a strong friendship and I wasn't ever going to be prepared to lose what we had.

I walked over to him, and pulled him into a large, caring hug. Sometimes, words can't express how much you care about someone, so you should just give them a hug, telling them everything is gonna be okay.

He tensed up, but after a few seconds, he relaxed and hugged me back.

"Thank you Phil."

"For what? I'm your friend and friends are supposed to care about each other," I explained.

He hugged me tighter, but not too tight.

"You're amazing."

"So are you," I added.

~

I really wanted to know what was up with Dan. I'm his best friend and best friends help each other even when things are rough.

That's when it hit me.

The nightmares.

Maybe they had to do with all of this.

What were they about? Could I get Dan to talk about them without feeling uncomfortable? I sure hope so.

I really want to know why he nearly woke up in tears every night.

I have had nightmares before, but they were about my phobias. Could dreams be that bad? Like, they are only dreams.

I should ask Dan about them.

Two objectives:
•Figure out what Dan was dreaming about
•Stay awake all night and make sure I never let go of Dan.

Dan walked into the room.

"Um, Dan?" I asked, "Can I ask you something? It may be personal."

"Er.. Go ahead."

"Dan, what have you been dreaming about?" I asked and looked him in the eyes.

Dan stayed silent for a minute then looked at the floor like he was holding back tears.

"I- Um. My dreams.. Aren't good." He said honestly.

"Do you mind telling me what was bad about it?"

"Everything was bad, Phil," Dan sighed.

"You don't have to tell me."

"It's okay. You deserve to know," he said. He looked hurt and I hope I wasn't pushing him or anything.

He stayed quiet for a while then said, "My dreams, or nightmares, have been terrible. They- they have been traumatizing. I don't think you want to know what they were about, though, Phil. It might hurt you."

A tear made its way down his cheek.

Oh my god. Dan hardly ever cried.
This must be bad.

"I-I can take it," I started, "If it hurts you, I want to know so I can help you."

He sighed once again. "I- Okay."

"Well, they were about pain, giving up, and depression. It was terrible. But, so real. That's what scared me the most."

Another tear slipped down Dan's cheek.

I motioned for him to come over and sit next to me.

When he sat down next to me, I hugged him and wiped his tears.

"I- I had a deep depression, and- and it won the battle."

"What battle?" I asked confused.

"The battle of life, Phil."

I gasped quietly. This was bad.

Dan continued, "I- in my dream, my depression, sadness, and every terrible emotion, was put in a human form. I had tried to escape it, but I was in a forest and the forest went on for eternity. He kept telling me I couldn't run, or hide. He also kept asking me if I had given up yet. I said no.. But then he told me why I should've. I- I asked to call you, and gave up. You told me you'd miss me, but I was convinced that you would move on. I wasn't worth it, anyways. That's probably why you let me go. Al-also, he asked me how I would do it. I asked what, and he responded with how I would commit suicide. My options were limited to hanging myself, or jumping off a bridge. I was about to choose bridge, when I woke up."

We were both crying now. I didn't know how bad nightmares could get.

Dan was such an amazing person. He didn't deserve this at all.

I love Dan so much and my new goal was to make him forget what being sad felt like.

Starting, now.