How to Housetrain Your Husband

You are not a child, you shouldn't cook like one

Miriam requires Bob to cook at least once in a seven day period. When asked about this requirement she said that she didn't want him to ever forget how. Personally, I think the woman is a saint for allowing him into the kitchen.

For reference here is how Miriam cooks:

Miriam opened the refrigerator at 2pm. She looked at the contents, what is likely to go bad if not eaten or, if they had left overs, what would make a better lunch than dinner. She next checked the contents of her pantry of dried non perishable foods and began to develop a plan of what could go together to make a meal. She followed up her plan by making a list of items she might need from the store. She added to the list any items she noted were low in their general supplies.

She packed up the toddler for a store trip. At the store, she purchased only items from her list. She used coupons she stored in her wallet from things she normally purchased.

Once home, she put away her groceries. She then emptied the dishwasher.

At 430pm she chopped the vegetables into colorful segmented piles, leaving them on a cutting board for later addition to the sauce she would make. She opened the refrigerator, took out a stick of butter, cut off a sliver into a pan then replaced the rest of the bar in the refrigerator on its original shelf.

She opened the package of meat, placed the meat on top of the now melted butter in the pan then discarded the wrapper in the garbage can. She carried the vegetables to the pan on the cutting board, rolling the thick plastic up to allow them to drop into the pan without spilling. She placed the knife and cutting board into the sink for washing.

She chose a spice container from her alphabetized spice shelf, added a dash to the pan then flipped the contents around with a spatula. She set the spatula down on a spill plate allowing the food to sizzle and crisp. She put the spice container back into its spot on the shelf.

She placed the water for her dinner starch side-dish on the burner to boil, adding a little salt from the kitchen salt shaker she left in the middle of the kitchen table for this purpose. She put the salt shaker back in its spot then added the starch to the boiling water. She pulled a colander out of its cupboard to place in the sink for draining. She finished the meat by stirring once then turning the burner off and covering it.

Pulling out plates for each member of her family she set them on the counter beside the burners. She plated a portion onto each plate that was appropriate to that individual's appetite. She assigned Bob to get the drinks, napkins and silverware to set the table. While Bob was setting the table, she rinsed the pans, colander and cutting board and placed them into the dishwasher.

Her food is always amazing.

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How Bob cooks:

It is 530 when Bob remembered that it was his night to cook. He opened the app Miriam downloaded onto his Iphone and entered the ingredients he found in the refrigerator. A recipe populated the screen, but he didn't like the look of it so he skimmed through a list until he found something that looked easy to make.

He opened a can, then remembered that he had to boil some water. He started the burner for the water, filled the pot and sloshed the water onto the burner with a satisfying sizzle. He pulled out another pan to pour the contents of the can into. He realized after pouring half of the can into the chosen pan, that it was too small for the rest of the recipe. He pulled out a larger pan then dribbled the contents into the new pan. Using a spatula, he scraped every last drop from can and small pan. Both spatula and small pan were placed next to the sink for washing.