1D DREAMS

The 1D Clothing/??! Shop

Ok apparently my previous title was inappropriate sorry wattpad -.- BAD IIMI BAD

ANYWAAAAYY

Oh fuck yah you can tell by the title this gon be a good one.

It started off with me getting these free shoes. They were silver high heels. And I got a silver dress that was super hot as well. So I put them on. And I felt hotter than I've ever felt in real life. You know what I'm talking about. That kind of dream glamour where you just suddenly go "Hot damn, I'm glorious" and you walk around feeling like Harry probably does every day of his life.

So I was strolling down this shopping centre street and what pops up in my head? OH HEY why don't I pass by the pharmacy where Harry works? ?!? Wut? Harry the Pharmacist let's just take a moment.

"Hello, can I help you? What's that? You need the morning after pill cause my note changes got you pregnant?"

Yup, Harry the Pharmacist gives you both the pain and the cure.

OK FOCUS IIMI

Here I am walking into the pharmacy and I see Harry playing with a bunch of little kids :') You know how this gets, you guys. You know. You've seen Harry with kids. You know that he is basically the fountain of life in a desert to them and to us. Don't deny it. You know you've spent 20 hours staring at your screen smiling like a dumbfuck and clutching your heart seeing tumblr gif compilations of Harry playing with kids, while his eyes have that glow of sweet life and his biceps strain under his sheer buttondowns with so much raw strength but his hands are more delicate than petunias to the little baby he's handling. So that's how I felt right here. Except dreams emotions are 2094850239485x more intense ya kno (if that even possible for my 1d feels).

Then I think ok this is too cute I can't disturb him no matter how much I want to fall to the floor and propose RIGHT NOW and is it too much to ask for him to say yes???...?
I should propose to you
Like how I pictured it
So I don't have to keep wanking OOOH

But I chose the less selfish route to make Harry proud, hoping to be at least a universe close to his exceptional kindness and selfless sweetness :') So I kind of walked around the shop a little bit and gave him the youcouldseriouslytakemenowidec look every once in a while and played it cooooll in my damn silver cocktail dress and heels in a little pharmacy in the middle of the day because what else would a badass do huh could you do better huh HUH?

Then randomly, in the space of like 5 dream seconds Harry had walked over and made a date with me, and Niall and Louis to meet up.

So I just go into OLYMPIC MARATHON GOLD METAL AMBITION MODE LIKE YOU ONLY GET ONE ShOT DO NOT MISS youR CHANCE TO BLOW THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME. I race home somehow, dodge my mom's advice on "safety and survival with strangers" pftttt hahahahahhaahha lolololeelelel, and get in a car with a driver cause I'm classy like that and start to make my way to the shop Harry told me to meet them at. Right before I get out of the car I roll down my window and I see Harry and I'm just aaayyeee how youuu doiinnn actin all chill in my car and trying to make him think I'm smooth af. He seems to take it well. God bless.

Before I walk into the shop, once I'm done parking, I look in the mirror and put on this perfect lipstick and just start giving myself a major dramatic sports movie inspirational speech including "you're hot you can do this THESE ARE YOUR MEN FFS" while doing the rest of my makeup, which I recalled and wrote down in disturbing detail once I woke up I might add, but I won't put you through that because who gives a fuck about that anyway this isn't a fanfic lololololol994 (I was just pressing random numbers and it came up with Harry's birth year omg we are meant to be!! ILLERMINATY@@@!!!)

While I was looking in the mirror BAM

BAM

BAM

SPLAT (vagina splat FYI you cheeky little fucker) (boom splat the sound of my vaj)

BAM FUCKING BAM ZAYN

I see Zayn in the rearview mirror, and he's talking to his security guards. I walk up and he's making some dirty jokes to them and he just gives me this sneaky little kitty cat look with those kitty eyes and I'm just like mhmhm you keep doin that.

Then I'm in this shop with a lot of expensive clothes that I'm not avoiding for once because FUCK YOU IMPLODING ECONOMY THIS IS MY DREAM WORLD BWAHHA and I see Harry, Louis and Niall. Poor Daddy Liam was probably manning the register.

My three go up with me to the second floor where there's storage and HEY A BED HELL YAAAAAAAAAYAYA

Right in front of them I start trying on random articles of clothing and just stripping off into my underwear while I discuss helping them with their next album. Yas bitch. Then I wanted to put my silver dress back on. So I was like

"Uh HELLO BOYS ARE YOU GONNA DO ME UP OR WHAT come on SLAVEs"

And this is where it's still funny but funny HOT to me ok because you DID NOT FEEL WHAT I FELT LAUGH ALL YOU LIKE (yeah it's hilarious I get you if you randomly start snorting tomorrow while minding your own business at work or school it'll probably be because of this and i won't blame you).

They walk up to me and literally look at me with this lusty look and slowly start fucking slipping the dress up my body GODDAMN I'm gonna have to go sit in my freezer for another 20 years after writing this no more updates I guess heh too busy cooling off my flaming libido that these men make burn hotter than the fiery depths of hell.

Harry holds it open for me to step into and wait for it

Louis smooths it so slow up my legs and fucking kisses his way up after, that DAMN CRIMINAL he was just softly kissing my skin and LOOKING UP AT ME WITH THOSE BLUE EYES OK DO YOU UNDERSTAND

Then when we get up to the ass part , I turn to niall and LISTEN TO WHAT A BITCH DREAM ME IS OK WHAT A HORNY DARING HOT DIPSHIT SEXY BITCH RIGHT HERE

"So we can talk over some little album details and then I was thinking that you could help me with my ass."

So TOTS OBVY Niall steps in and says "My turn hah" and just looks at my ass for a while going "I've been loving that since I saw you out on the street this morning" in that irish accent except it was SEX IRISH ACCENT here. Then he sits down and points to his lap WHERE I SIT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU DO IF NIALL HORAN POINTS TO HIS DICK AND INSTRUCTS YOU TO SIT ON IT YOU INSOLENT FOOL and holy hell.

Holy hell, ladies and gentlemen.

I grinded on him.

And I was pressed up all against him and I could feel him underneath his jeans and he was just talking to me so low and saying dirty shit. I have no regrets. I'm considering putting it on my CV.

And as Niall was gloriously Nialling me, and I transcended time and space, I woke up, probably due to my heart beating harder than a blood-covered drum in a satanic ritual. And as I opened my eyes while the dream faded I thought to myself, yes lawd, if you were to take me now, this wouldn't be a bad way to go.

#1DDreamSupportTeam

Mwah end enjoy laughing/crying
~IIMI ❤♥❤ xx

♥ twitter.com/InsanityIsMyInk