Smosh Adventures: Saving Jesus (Completed)

~1~ Teleporting Fat Guy

Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla were just sitting around playing Mario Brothers on their Wii. They pretty much were just sitting there bored and breathing, but Ian couldn't get past that stupid little Mario Turd Guy. Like usual. All of a sudden, Teleporting Fat Guy materialized right in front of them.

"Teleporting Fat Guy!" they both said at the same time, pausing their game. 

"Ian, Anthony, I come bearing important news from the future!" Teleporting Fat Guy said.

They sat there for a moment of silence. Anthony and Ian leaned forward, grinning idiotically and blinking. Teleporting Fat guy did the same. Then Ian said, "Well what is it?" He was still smiling.

"Oh! Its that Jesus needs your help! If you don't save him then in the future everything will be chaos!!" Teleporting Fat guy said.

"How do we save him?!" asked Anthony.

"Well first you must go to the Heavenly Weapons shop. It is located in the great land of Mount Everest, the closest place to heaven."

"Okay!" they both said at the same time. They ran out of the door. Then Ian ran back in to the fridge. "Bye Teleporting Fat Guy!" he said, grabbing some milk.

***

They ventured far to the great land of Mount Everest. Ian's milk lasted them most of the way. Or at least it lasted Ian most of the way. He wouldn't share with Anthony.

Finally they reached the base of the mountain. "How are we supposed to get up there?" Ian asked.

"Well there's that conveniantly located mountain supplies shop over there," Anthony said. "Let's go!"

They walked over to the shop where an Asian Lady sat there watching something. "Hello, miss," Anthony said. Surprised, she slammed her laptop shut and stared at them crankily. "What you want?"

"Uh, we want Mountain Climbey Things," Ian said.

"Mountain?" she asked. 

"Uh yeah. And do you by any chance have a map to the Heavenly Weapons shop?" he asked.

"Heavenly Weapons shop?" she asked.

"Yeah. Do you have a map?" 

"Heavenly Weapons..." she said, her voice and eyes getting dark. Her head started to split open and out came Ganondorf. "You must di--" he didn't get to finish his sentence because Ian had gotten scared and threw his milk. He sparked and evaporated in a yellow smoke. In the end it smelt like rotten eggs and milk. 

"Nice going, Ian!" Anthony said.

"I know, right?" Ian replied.

"No, I mean you just got rid of our milk! Now what are we going to eat?" Anthony asked angrily.

 "Well duh, Anthony, Ganondorf eats stuff too!" Ian stated, as if it was obvious. He walked behind the counter where Ganondorf used to sit and slid back a wall. Behind it revealed...

"Ian!" Anthony exclaimed. 

Ian, or whoever he was, laughed. "I'm not Ian! While Ganondorf was being destroyed, I kidnapped him and put on an Ian suit! I'm really..." He pulled off his Ian mask. "Peter!" 

"Peter? What the firetruck?" Anthony asked.

Peter looked next to him, then on his other side. "I don't know!" he said, clutching his head. "The voices are so confusing!" He grabbed a gun and shot himself.

Ian jumped in his chair. He was all gagged and such. Anthony untied him, but then came to a padlock locking chains. "Where's the key?" asked Anthony.

"Oh," said Ian, "It's up my a**hole."

"Ew! Ian, I am not reaching up your asshole!"

"Well why not? Its the only way to get the key, Anthony!"

Just then, Teleporting Fat Guy appeared and gave them the key. "Here ya guys go, Ian sh*ts it out eventually. Good Luck!"

Anthony unlocked Ian and they grabbed some climbing supplies before exiting the shop. This was just the beginning to their journey, though. Stay tuned for more of the unfolding adventure!