The Pretty Boy In The Sheets| bxb | Slowly Editing

Nineteen

Here's another chapter this pretty morning for all the time I spent leaving y'all hanging.

Jay's third POV
(Things will be seen different from Jay's POV so some things might not make sense because Jay had no been there or he did not now the whole story.)

"Eric.. I fucking hate you—" Jay had never had the best home life, His mother was a sweet lady who had a bad taste in men— He lived in a good size house and his father was no stranger to abusive, first it started with his mother and then it began with Jay, he Met Eric around that time the abusive started getting really bad in his house to the point he rather sleep outside or under a porch.

In middle school he would picture what he might walk into coming home from school— Maybe his mother would of done hung herself because she couldn't take it anymore, or maybe his father would be beating in her face again. Showing weakness wasn't an choice so he told nobody- Not his friends not his family, No one.

The thoughts became overwhelming— He hated his father, he didn't want to be like his father or his mother. He didn't want to be somebodies toy and punching bag, justifying it with an fake overuse three words. 'I love him.'

That was before he met Eric goodmen though— They meet when they was both trying out for football in freshman year, He thought he looked like one of those pretty boys, and he would be an narcissistic asshole like his father. He was a good player though, and it meant kissing his ass to get a good spot on the team so Jay could move as far away from home then he would but Eric was different. He spoke fake almost, like he was just some type of alien life form trying to become human.

But he smiled more when he was in freshman year— It was genuine and cute and when Jay started a conversation with him it made him forget about home and football and what others thought and as time passed, He opened up to Eric. He thought Eric would laugh or mock him but Eric started at him patiently and respectfully. He nodded and frowned. Jay didn't feel weak, he only wanted to cry.

But as time passed— Eric's personality became more fake, 'maybe he really was an alien' he sometimes thought seeing how quick Eric was to fake a smile or laugh or joke to someone. He was like an alien that didn't find earth important or meaningful anymore, sometimes Jay at night would picture what would happen to Eric.

Maybe he would go back to his home planet.. but then he started thinking logically— He started to picture Eric killing himself or disappearing or worse and it scared the shit out of him. When it came to his mother and his horrifying daydreams about his mother he never thought to much of them, picturing his mother hanging- he didn't know what to think. Sometimes he would hope his mother would run away back then in middle school or worse, maybe 'life would be easier' he thought.

Other times he could picture smashing his fathers head in with a hammer, and going to prison for the rest of his life. Not because he wanted to save his mother though, just because his father was a terrible human being in general..

But Jay soon realized he was becoming just like his father, He hated women. He took his anger out on women. He didn't care if they cried or frowned or wanted to hurt him, He didn't feel anything at all. And nobody ever told him to stop, maybe if Eric said something and didn't give him that disgusting disappointed look every fucking time maybe he would of settled down- Or just stop being with women...

Finally Jay's mother stopped being with Jay's father— And the abuse stopped, and she started dating sooner then expected. He started to hate his mother more around that point, she always dismissed what happened all those years like it wasn't all that bad. That it was a learning experience— The woman he hated most of all was his mother, he wouldn't hurt her though.. He wouldn't save her either. Jay blamed his hatred of women onto his mother whenever he felt even a little bit bad.

But then Jay started talking to Emily— It was sudden and unexpected. They met just one day and started talking, Like Eric- Time flew talking to her and Jay didn't think about anything negative. He thought he could be happy around her like he was happy around Eric but like all women, he wasn't attracted to her. Romantically. Sexually.

At the same time Eric started acting weird and handing around some other guy and started doing some weird stuff— Jay could see he was starting to lose his friend, He couldn't lose the girl version of Eric though so he strung along Emily until she got tired. It was like some badly written play, Jay questioned why he liked hanging out with Eric.

"I'm gay." Eric had told him— Jay couldn't believe it, why did it have to be him? His best friend? The guy that only understood him- He couldn't say what he wanted to say. He didn't hate Eric but he hated how Eric made him think and feel and what Eric had done to him. Jay kissed Eric, maybe something would happen— But like everything else. He didn't feel any sexual or romantic feelings.

He removed his lips from the shocked boy— And tears hit the face under Jay, "what the fuck is wrong with me..." Jay muttered into his quiet, heated room as Eric slowly.. and quietly comforted him without any hesitation.

Authors note:

This chapter also isn't suppose to victimize Jay in any way— Rereading it I can see how it can be seen that way but I was trying to explain why Jay is the person he is now and why he does the things he does and says. Though he's had a bad home life and clearly doesn't have the right mindset that doesn't discredit the things he's done, and also the things he done in the past when it comes to women and his homophobic rants. Ty.