Community Oneshots While I Watch Through The Show

Burgers of Ass (1x01)

A/N : This fic refers to what is actually part of the Autism spectrum as Asperger's since that was the diagnosis when the show started (the diagnosis wasn't merged into Autism Spectrum Disorder until 2013), but I want to remind people that Asperger's is indeed a now outdated term for a part of the Autism spectrum

"You know, I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films"

Jeff paused in the doorway. He was just gonna leave, figure out a way to not completely flunk his upcoming test, and never speak to any of them again, but that insult was so weirdly specific that he couldn't stop himself from commenting on it. So, he turned around with an annoyed "Yeah?"

"Yeah"

...

"Well you have Asperger's"

And then he left without another word, leaving everyone to try and make something of what he had just said. Of course, they'd all been able to tell that there was something a little bit different about the boy, but none of them (except Britta, who'd already figured out as much when the two first met) had ever even thought that it might be something like that, so their reactions were pretty varied.

"What does that mean?" Abed asked Britta, confused as all hell. He'd remembered her saying something about him maybe having a disorder when he'd first met her, but he wasn't sure if that's what Jeff was referring to or if this was some other sort of thing. As much as he'd gathered from that initial conversation with the blonde, he couldn't for the life of him remember what the disorder had been called.

Troy just started laughing. He didn't know what an ass burger was, but he found the phrase endlessly amusing. "It's a serious disorder" Annie tried to tell him. Both her and Shirley looked almost terrified for Abed, like Jeff had just informed the group that he had like... Cancer or something. Obviously it wasn't that serious, but she'd never paid attention to any real information about it, so she just assumed it was a bad thing.

"Well if it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?" Pierce asked, only gaining a chuckle from Troy, who was still hung up on the whole "ass burgers" thing. "Ass burger..." the old man muttered with a small chuckle to himself. Troy still was laughing his ass off. "A burger for your ass"

"I am very confused" Abed said again to get Britta's attention. She smiled at him softly. A small part of him wondered if she infantilized him, since the first comparison she'd made when they met was that he reminded her of the kids her brother worked with, but she still appreciated that she seemed willing to explain things to him when he didn't understand.

"Asperger's is the disorder I was telling you about when we met" she told him. "If you do have it, which you very well might, it just means that your brain is wired a little bit differently" she continued on, eyeing Annie and Shirley. "It's not a disease or anything, and it's not bad. I think he just brought it up to take a cheap shot at you cause he's a mess"

"How is it spelled?" he asked her as he processed the information. He knew it almost definitely wasn't spelled like "ass burgers", but it definitely sounded like that. So, she spelled it to him, to which he muttered it back to himself a few times to memorize it. He almost certainly would look it up now that he knew what exactly it was that he would be looking up.

"It should be spelled like ass burgers" Pierce chimed back in unhelpfully, earning a glare from everyone else. "It's funnier that way"

"Shirley, is it morally justifiable to punch an old man if he's being an asshole?" Britta asked, glancing over to the Christian.

"Yes, honey, it is... But I also won't stop you"