Harmless || Stray Kids ✔️

38

Jisung

I stumble back into the refrigerator. It shakes with my weight. Fire is in my lungs again, but it's... it's different.

The members are quick to act on it, running to my side. I fall to my hands and knees, my mouth suddenly dry and my throat clogged. I'm on fire. Sand sprays from my insides, scratching every surface it touches.

"What the fuck?"

Someone grasps my hand, and I squeeze it tightly. I hear the other person whine because of my grip. I was clenching it so tightly that it was numbing my hand. I couldn't let go, as much as I wanted to.

I couldn't breathe at this point. Tears rapidly slid down my cheeks. I'm going to die. This is it. This is the one that kills me.

The pressure building up in my head makes me want to explode. It's too much. I'm going to die. This is it.

"Don't fear it, Jisung," Felix reminds. He told us in a family meeting. That's how to rid ourselves of this curse.

But how was I supposed to not fear death?

I let go of that person's hand, bracing myself on the floor. Sand sticks to my sweaty palms. I clench my eyes shut, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid, but I can't fucking breathe.

"Breathe through your nose, Hannie," Minho rubs my back. I assum all of the members were watching with frightened eyes.

When I first try, I gag. They were dry heaves followed quickly by sand. I try again, desperate to cling onto my life. It's rough, very rough. It all burned and stabbed against my throat.

Yet I was breathing.

Don't be afraid. You're okay. You can get through this. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid.

My strained body cools down. There is no more retching. There is no more dry pain, just subtle aches. The breaths I take in burn my throat because it was dry, but that was a small issue that could be fixed instantly.

"There you go."

Opening my eyes, I blink a few times. The sand in front of me is gone. I stare into the kitchen floor. It's gone. It's really gone.

"Relax now, it's okay." Hyunjin pulls me into his arms, letting me melt. "Does it still hurt?"

I nod.

Minho hands me some water without me asking. When I try to reach for it, I'm still trembling heavily and I almost drop it. He catches it before it falls and puts it up to my lips instead.

As soon as the cold liquid hits my throat, it's healed. It feels that way. I'm so exhausted. I close my eyes, breathing through my nose.

"Jisung, I thought you were afraid of drowning. Why was there sand?"

"Suffocation," I simply state, my voice raspy. "Any kind of suffocation."

"Oh."

Murmurs surround me, most saying that it made more sense now. I don't really pay attention. I want to sleep in my bed for a few days just to regain enough energy.

I'm glad it's over for me.

-

I throw myself out of Hyunjin's hold an hour later, rushing to the bathroom. I barely hear my friends call my name before I retch into the toilet. Nothing comes out, but I can't breathe.

"Jisung-"

I collapse on the floor, tears spilling over. My body had hot coals all over it, searing my skin. My nails scratch at my neck, wanting to open it in order to breathe. Why was I burning?

My legs flail, kicking desperately. My friends hold me down, keeping me from convulsing. It's so hot in here. It's so hot.

"Open your mouth!" Chan instructs. I couldn't do anything but listen.

My eyes close involuntarily. Something enters my throat, and I go to bite down, but something else clenches my jaw to keep it open.

Suddenly, a small leak of air enters my lungs. I breathe in quickly before having sand pour out of me once again. Why was this happening? I thought it was over. Why wasn't it over?

I'm not afraid of you, I scream in my head, unable to verbalize it. I'm not afraid of dying. Kill me. Do it. I'll always have my friends by my side, through life and death. Just kill me. I'm not afraid of you!

It all stops, leaving me heaving for air. I can't even cry. My energy has dispersed into nothing. Before I can open my eyes, it all disappears from my fingers.