Harmless || Stray Kids ✔️

23

My breathing is heavy by the time I escape their glares. My trembling palm presses against my forehead. I close my eyes, trying to get their voices out of my head.

Each word hit like a bullet. If I stayed, I would've broken down completely. I just need to wear the panic off. It's fine.

My feet drag me along. I barely had enough sense to grab my shoes and phone before I ran out. I don't think they'll be calling any time soon, though. I just wonder how long it's going to take.

People pass by me, stepping away as if I were a walking disease. I just want to be alone. I pick up the pace, ideas for places speeding by.

When I reach my destination, the tears finally catch up to me. No. No. I can't let it win. I can't let it win.

My run along the track begins. Each memory pushes me faster. Don't let it win. You're not a failure. You're not a bad leader.

You almost got Felix and Minho kicked off for good. You failed them. You got Hyunjin put on a lone hiatus. You let Seungmin get hurt during practice. You let Jisung suffer through his anxiety to please you. You failed Changbin when he didn't pass for that tv show. He could've used your help. And Jeongin. You push him too hard. You don't even give him lines. He's just a fucking kid. They all are. You have failed as a leader.

And now they all hate you.

I stumble over my feet, crashing to the hard surface below. Sobs pile out of me as I lie on my back. I cover my eyes with one arm, rain soaking into my shirt. When did it start to rain?

It doesn't matter. They're right. They have the right to hate me. These phobias spill the truth. That's all it was. The truth.

I scream with frustration. Salty droplets slide down the sides of my head as I clench my teeth. I wasn't expecting this. Not at all. I didn't even think I had a fear like this. That I was scared of failing my loved ones. I... didn't realize.

Chills sink into my bones after awhile. Though the tears have stopped, sullen emotions hang heavy in my heart. I need to find shelter.

Pulling myself up, the world around me is dull. It just makes sense. I look around, finding the exit. Maybe there was a nearby park. Perhaps a bus stop with a roof.

I tread down the sidewalk. Not many people were out now. Light glimmered on the street in the nature-made mirror. How pretty. So inappropriate.

I notice a nearby alleyway. There was a tarp above it, protecting the old brick walls and dirt from washing away. I go, sliding down the building and resting. I'll wait here for a call or something. I want it to be over.