𝓝𝔂𝔁 - 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Looking for peace in myself

I had nightmares all night long. I woke up at 4 in the morning with a huge headache and stuffy nose from crying, feeling terrible, both physically and mentally, for the first time in my life I felt ... weak ...
This awkwardness was killing me. I got off my bed and took a cold shower. I felt the cold drops trickle down my body, and tears rolled down my cheeks again.
I wiped them off quickly and got out of the shower. Looking in the mirror, I noticed my large dark circles and bloodshot, glassy eyes. I couldn't show myself like this ... I did my makeup to cover up my emotions, which were clearly visible on my face.
I wore an oversized sweatshirt and black jeans. I put my hair in a loose bun. I looked at myself again, felt disgust. The anger started to build up inside me again and I hit the mirror with my fist and it shattered into tiny pieces, cutting my skin on my hand. I took a piece of glass out of my fist and wiped my bloody hand on my pants without worrying about the wound. I went back to my room, sat on the bed and wondered what to do. There is no way I'm going back to class. I can't talk to Gaby either because I blew her off yesterday. I also can't write to my parents because they have a lot on their minds anyway. Suddenly I had an idea. What if I got out of here ... Where can I go? It does not matter and always when I plan something, it does not work out. I will do it spontaneously. Decision made. Still unsure, I started packing. Of course I can't take everything. Freya will have to stay, I will not put her in a cage today, let her fly freely. I used a spell to increase size so I could put more things in my backpack. I got a map, a wand, some useful potions, spare clothes, spare shoes, some hygiene products some food and drinks. I don't know when or if I will go back to Hogwarts.
I zipped my backpack and went to the window to once again see the beautiful view from my room. The sun was rising creating beautiful colored stripes in the sky. I hesitated, not knowing what to do, but I knew that I certainly couldn't stay here.
When I was about to go out to my window, a black owl flew up and started screeching loudly. The one who flies behind Freya, the same one I saw a few days ago in the window. I don't know what owl it is or whose it is, I asked my friends but no one knows. Ignoring it, I went out and closed the door behind me. It was quiet and empty in the corridors, everyone was still asleep. I was walking through the corridors, trying not to make any noise so that no one would catch me, it would be a fluff. Away I heard footsteps so I quickened my pace practically running out of the castle through the back exit leading to the forbidden forest. I managed to slip away unnoticed. I'm pretty sure nobody saw me. Finally, I was able to catch my breath. I looked around, there was morning dew on the grass, the air was fresh, the leaves turned yellow and fell from the trees, the birds sang their morning song. Peace and quiet, no living soul. I looked back at Hogwarts once more, beautiful and dignified as always.
I entered the forest with a steady step, going deeper and deeper. Everyone finds it scary and dangerous. I think it is different, for me it is beautiful and has its own harmony. I did not feel threatened here, delving into my thoughts as I walked on and on, not looking back. I had no idea where I was going. After about an hour of walking, I realized the possible consequences of running away. What if the Principal notifies the parents? They will be worried for sure. Where will I stay overnight? I don't have a tent with me. Still, I was determined not to go back and continued walking deeper and deeper into the forest. I passed many magical creatures along the way, but none of them had bad intentions, they were all amazing. I encountered a Thunderbird, a shaggy and even a rat beetle. Tired of fast walking, I sat down under a tall tree on the moss. I knew I could get hurt if I didn't cast a defensive spell as the animals might think I had died and take me for their next meal. I sat back on the moss and fell asleep. I didn't have any dreams, I don't even know how long my nap was. It was interrupted by a rustle in the bushes, which made me jump up from the ground, grasping my wand in my hand, ready to defend myself.
I rubbed my eyes and took a closer look. There was a large gray wolf in the bushes staring at me. I didn't want to hurt him so I started to slowly back up.
To my surprise, the wolf did not attack, but only howled and changed into ... Impossible ...
-Gaby?!
I mumbled surprised
She walked closer to me and nodded her head, embarrassed. We stood in silence for a while, looking at each other, and at the same time we asked ourselves the same question.
-What did just happened?!
Gaby started explaining to me that this was what she couldn't tell me. She has been like this since she was a child. She was bitten by a werewolf when she was 8 years old. At the first change she didnt have controll over herself and hurted her friend by accident. The next day everybody in her neighborhood avoided her fearing that she would hurt someone. Parents did not allow their children to play with little Gaby because they were afraid for the safety of their children. Since then when she turns into a wolf at night she runs away from school at night without anyone noticing. I already know where this wound on her back comes from, and such accidents happen during the transformation.
As a result of having to keep it on secret, she did not have time to have friends and became an outcast. I saw that it was a difficult topic for her. She was clearly afraid of my reaction. I assured her that it is nothing bad and for me it is even a cool thing, but I know that it could be problematic. Of course I wouldn't tell anyone her secret, who could I even tell it to?
Gaby smiled and walked over to hug me. I haven't hugged anyone for a long time, strange feeling. However, after a while she pushed me away and asked suspiciously what was I doing here ...
I smiled awkwardly and looked down, not knowing whether to tell the truth or lie. However, I decided to tell the truth because I already know her deepest secret. She can't spill mine because then I could spill her secret. Besides, I slowly began to trust her. I told her more or less what happened, except for some parts that I was ashamed of, but Gaby seemed to understood it all. I had to tell her about the war as well, otherwise the whole story would have no meaning. We even took a perpetual oath not to reveal these secrets to anyone. That way, we both felt safe.
We sat down together under the tree, wondering what to do next. Gaby tried to persuade me to go back to school and forget about the whole incident. She also gave me the idea of ​​pouring the elixir of oblivion into the drink of Mrs. Lestrange who knew my secrets. But I knew that she was too powerful and that it would not work, no matter how strong the potion was. Gaby insisted that I should face it then, and that would make me stronger. I laughed at her, this statement sounded very bookish, but it would have no coverage in everyday life. I told her that then she should also tell everyone about being a werewolf so she wouldn't have to go into hiding. We both concluded that we couldn't do this.
It was already around 2 pm so Gaby had to come back and so she didn't go to class today, which she will have to explain herself somehow. We agreed that she would take care of my owl and then she gave me a pendant thanks to which she could locate me. She showed me an abandoned cabin in the forest.
Each of us went our own way. I could see that she was concerned that I had run away and she couldn't persuade me to come back.
Well, it has been known for a long time that I am very stubborn.
I headed towards the abandoned hut. It was small and deliberately hidden among the sprawling trees. I stepped cautiously inside. As I suspected, it was empty. It looked as if no one had been there for years No wonder it was deep in the forest where no one dared to go. It was cozy inside. The hut was wooden, covered with a moss on the outside. It was quite cold inside, I noticed a fireplace that I immediately lit with my wand. It was quite crowded here, but there was enough space for one person. There was also a wardrobe, a small bed, a kitchenette, old magic books, a bathroom and a table. I went outside and cast a few defensive spells so that nobody could see me from the outside, that they wouldn't smell the smoke from the chimney, or hear me. I gathered some branches for kindling for the fireplace and when it started to get dark I returned to the hut. I found a couple of old candles and lit them to illuminate this small space. I unpacked my backpack, went to take a shower and changed my clothes. I layed down, but I couldn't sleep, so I took the first book from the edge of the cupboard and began to read. I just came across the Quidditch history and basic rules of it. This book edition was quite old from what I could see. It had old yellowed thin pages, it even had notes on it.
I wonder whose books they are, who made notes in them and what led this person so deep into the forest. I began to imagine possible scenarios and after a while I fell asleep to the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace.