That One Magic Friend (Harley Quinn TV Series x Male Reader)

An Unwanted Nemesis

IVYS APARTMENT

Ivy was happily whistling as she and her vines were cleaning the house. But of course it never ends in silence.

Harley, Y/n, Psycho and Clayface come bursting in through the door, laughing throwing money around, all holding ink stained duffel bags of money.

Psycho: "Damn, that was good!" He says sitting on a chair, using the duffel bag as a stepping stool.

Harley: "Who has two hands covered in unwashable ink? Uh, this girl! We just made that bank our bitch!" She drops the bag on Ivy's glass table, smashing it.

Ivy: "Dude! That was a Noguchi coffee table."

Harley: "Uh, sorry. But hey! Now you can buy a bunch of 'em!" She says starting to throw money on her.

Harley/Ivy: "Guch! Guch! Guch!/You know you can just hand me some money."

Ivy: "You don't have to make it rain."

Harley: "It's Noguchi!"

Ivy: "I'm gonna go make some nettles tea."

Y/n: "For two please."

Ivy: "You got it."

Harley: "Oh, man. This was our best heist yet. And we hit the perfect tone! Like, okay, everyone in the bank was super scared of us, but like not so much that they weren't also delighted when I just cartwheeled out. I'm sure everybody on the news is talkin' about it."

Clayface: "I hope we didn't miss too much of the coverage." He picks up the remote and turns the TV on.

News Reporter: "Batman stops Joker from robbing the credit union."

Psycho: "Credit union? That's just a poor person bank. We robbed a real one with a vault, and money, and predatory lending practices!"

Harley: "No, the news probably did us first. Here, try Channel 7."

News reporter: "And Batman foils-"

Harley: "Just let me look." She swipes the controller and start rapidly switching through news channels, all talking about Joker and Batman.

Clayface: "We're the most compelling story, so they're probably saving us for last."

News reporter: "And now our last and most compelling story."

Clayface: "Enter, us!"

Ivy walks to the group, while passing you some tea.

Psycho: "Turn up the volume!"

Harley: "It's about damn time."

You just sip from your tea.

News reporter: "A cardboard box of baby ferrets has finally been returned to their rightful owners."

Y/n: "Aww... Uh oh."

Ivy: "Oh, boy."

Harley get close to the TV and slams the remote into it, smashing it.

Ivy: "You have been here two weeks and you have destroyed nine TVs."

Harley: "Sorry. I'm just pissed. Why aren't they talkin' about us?"

Clayface: "It should be our faces on that screen! We should be those ferrets!"

Y/n: "Wait, why do we want people to know we did this." You question your leader.

Ivy: "Yeah, you guys, like, realize you're committing serious felonies, right? Like, you actually don't want people to know who you are."

Harley: "Or-"