Star Wars: Giver of Light Book I-Finding a Father in a Memory (AU)

Chapter Seven

Letting go of his son was the hardest thing twenty-three year-old Xanatos Renashaii had ever done. Burying his wife had been difficult, but choosing to send away the last link he had to her was positively excruciating.

"He'll be in the best hands, Xanatos," came a deep voice from behind the young man.

Xanatos kept his eyes on the shuttle that was carrying his son away from him. "He'll be in the hands of the Jedi. There is a difference between the Jedi and the best hands, Master Windu."

Mace stepped up next to the former Jedi and turned to face him. He saw a tired, lonely and angry young man. "The difference is minimal, and you will see him again."

"So you keep saying. Considering the way Qui-Gon Jinn and I last met, you'll forgive me if I don't exactly have the utmost faith in the Jedi," Xanatos fired at the older man. "I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me why you're here. I sensed your presence on Telos two weeks ago."

"I came to make an offer," Mace told him.

"What kind of offer?" Xanatos asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Master Yoda wishes your training to continue," Mace stated plainly. "As do I."

The shock on Xanatos' face almost made Mace laugh. He'd anticipated that reaction. He knew the young man hadn't ever expected to be offered the chance to be a Jedi again.

"Why?" was his question to Windu.

"You're very gifted, Xanatos. You could become one of the...," Mace began only to be interrupted.

"...best Jedi in the Order. Yes, I've been fed that line since I was a small child. The moment my father was murdered in cold blood at the hands of a Jedi, I lost whatever motivation I had to become one of you, best or otherwise," Xanatos informed Mace as he slowly walked away from the older man.

"Xanatos, listen to me. It is imperative that you become a Jedi Knight. The future of our Order depends on it," Mace said, his voice pleading with the younger man.

Slowly, Xanatos turned around. "What is so important to the future of the Jedi that six years after I walked away, drew my saber on a Master and used the dark side, you suddenly want me back?" he asked. "It doesn't matter anyway; I have no desire to ever be a Jedi Knight."

"You're lying," Mace charged. "Letting go of your son changed you, Xanatos. I sense no darkness in you, despite the fact that it nearly permeated your entire being two weeks ago. You want this, Xan. You want to be a Jedi. You've always wanted to be a Jedi Knight and now is your chance. Let me...," Mace tried to continue.

"Stop! Please, just stop!" Xanatos yelled. He ran a hand through his long black hair and took several deep breaths. Tears pooled in the corners of his sapphire blue eyes. "My son is my life. He's so small and vulnerable and he doesn't have his mother and...," he whispered, his voice shrouded in pain.

Mace moved closer and rested a hand on Xanatos' shoulder. "You will see him again, Xanatos. I promise you that, my young friend. But you must become a Jedi for that to happen," he counseled.

Xanatos wiped away the tears that were now falling down his tanned cheeks. "I want to believe you, Master."

"You can believe me. You will be with your son again, you will be a Jedi Knight, and you will have a hand in saving the galaxy," Mace told Xanatos, his voice firm.

Xanatos lifted his steely blue gaze to meet Windu's brown orbs. "All right, Master. I agree to continue my training."

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