On the day when you my mama delivered,
I already brought you suffering.
You had surgery to bring me out,
You bore the pain even after you went home and out.
The sleepless nights you and papa had,
The bonding time we had,
I may not remember how I have been.
When I was a small child, have I been mean?
I can not remember how I looked like,
I do not know how I acted like,
Was I very chubby or was I skinny,
Was I obedient or was I naughty?
While I was growing up,
I felt like I became too selfish or tough,
There were times when I felt like I was a headache
Or maybe I did not know that I unintentionally cause you the ache.
People see me as that silent, behave child,
But I feel like the opposite of that child.
I was not spoiled for you taught me how to wait
Made me remember that not everything we like we can have or take.
You have been a good example for me,
With my sisters you have helped me,
To cheer me up when I was down,
To make me smile and laugh whenever I frown.
At some point in my life I felt the sibling rivalry,
Due to the age gap maybe my sister felt envy,
But she never lack in understanding and patience,
Though there were times that she wanted send me out when she felt like I do not listen.
She was busy with the chores
And I was busy with my toys,
She was done cleaning and was washing the dishes,
And there I was, I just started opening my toys and games and I will never forget the day I let the tears fall
from your eyes.
You were there to pacify her,
To make her understand that I still did not understand her,
I was five and she was sixteen,
I was a child and she was a teen.
Those times I remember I feel like a retard,
I see things differently and I do not care much about people maybe,
Early in the morning I roam around the neighbourhood
Like a police on patrol having no wheels or any boots.
I roamed around to see what neighbourhood was like,
Thinking if it was going to be like the other days or maybe with a different vibe.
Sometimes I wander and look around as if the place was unfamiliar,
Passed by some houses and have seen some early morning views and gossips.
Maybe I was just accustomed to watching other people around
That thoughts I formulated my mind I hardly speak out.
I do not talk much and I do not like shouting.
I usually just observe and I confess to have accidentally witnessed some things.
That day I was talking with another child with a face I can not remember,
While staring at a body of a lifeless man lying on the ground
His innards already outside and on top of his abdomen,
That crime happened on an early morning.
On some nights when I go outside for a walk,
I noticed things that I was not very much familiar with or aware of.
I sometimes go to the neighbour's house to watch TV
Then my mama would come looking for me to see where I would be.
I do not say these things to be an embarrassment or to embarrass anyone.
I only express what I have remembered when I was still young.
Maybe those were the only things I remember,
Maybe the things I think I went through.
My life was not difficult nor was it easy
I grew up in a poor family but I was happy.
I know I learned and have seen that life is difficult and with some mess.
My parents have taught me that life is not all happiness and not all sadness.
