Little Miss America

Chapter Three

"So how is it?"
You were lying on a very uncomfortable bed talking to your uncle Buck on the phone.
"Oh everything I ever imagined" you replied sarcastically.
"Nice and... homey?"
"It's a shithole Bucket."
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. What are the other kids like?"
"Annoying. I'm pretty much the oldest, except for this one kid who's seventeen."
"Well don't get too attached. You'll be out of there soon."
"Mhm. If Only."
"Y/n, you're Cap's daughter. Little miss America" he laughed at the nickname. "I'm sure you'll be adopted in no time."
"Right. And what if I end up going home with some creep?"
"I won't let them."
"You can't exactly do anything Buck. Unless you change your mind and realise that you can quite easily become my legal guardian."
"You know I can't do that princess."
"Yeah I know."
"But listen, no creep is going to adopt you. They should do pretty extensive background checks before letting them anywhere near you."
"I suppose you're right."
You held the phone close to your ear, but neither of you said anything.
You heard Bucky groan slightly as he rolled over on the other end of the line.
"So the kids are annoying" he said. "Other than that, what's it like?"
"Full on religious shit" you informed him. "There's nuns and Sunday school and when we go to classes we have to wear ridiculous school uniforms with ankle length skirts and we can't swear or say like 'oh my god' or 'Damn'..."
"So you've already been told off a lot then" he chuckled.
"Holy fucking shit, you're goddamn right, how un-fucking-believable" you laughed.
"How are you doing classes, if there's no one else your age?"
"I have personal sessions. Painful. Then I have to help out with the younger classes."
"Why don't you just ask if you can go back to school?"
"They'll never say yes."
"Have you spoken to Peter yet?"
"No. I haven't even told him I'm here. We haven't talked since the funeral."
"So he doesn't know about your dad?"
"It's been on the news Buck, I'm sure he does."
"And he hasn't reached out?"
"No. But school would've started again so he's probably busy with that and being Spider-Man and everything."
"That's no excuse."
"Hm. It doesn't matter anyway, I'll probably never see him again."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well I'm kinda stuck here right now, and god knows where I'm gonna end up. Then will Peter, or any of the others, really want to see me after two years?"
"Of course they'll want to see you y/n. They helped raise you, most of them have known you since you were a baby. They all love you so much."
"Then why did no one want me, Bucky?"
"It's not that they didn't want you, they just couldn't look after you."
"Mhm. Even though I'm sixteen and can pretty much look after myself."
"Yes but you're expensive, if you consider how much you eat on a daily basis" Bucky joked, trying to cheer you up. He didn't see that you were smiling at his efforts.
"Hey."
You looked up suddenly when your door creaked open and a boy stepped through. It was Ethan, the seventeen year old.
"Um hi" you said.
"You should probably turn that off" he pointed at the phone in your hand. "Lights out soon, and I'm assuming you don't want it confiscated."
"Right, thanks."
He nodded and slipped his hands in his pockets as he left the room again.
"Y/n, was that a boy's voice I heard?"
"Mhm. I told you about Ethan?"
"No, who's Ethan?"
"The guy that's seventeen."
"You never told me he was a guy. I thought it was an all-girls orphanage."
"No, there are boys here too."
"Right. Yeah. Okay, yeah..."
"You good there Bucket?" you giggled at him.
"Mhm. I'm fine."
"Sure. Well I should probably go. Don't want my phone taken."
"Okay. Take care princess."
"Bye Bucket."
Neither of you hung up the phone. You were listening to each other breathing calmly for at least a couple of minutes.
Then, you heard some footsteps coming down the corridor outside, and you quickly hung up the call before sliding your phone under your pillow.
"Lights out y/n" the nun said as she barged through your door and switched off your light. "Goodnight" she nodded then left just as quickly as she had come.
You rolled your eyes and pulled out your phone again to play games for a while.
After about half an hour later, a message popped up on your screen reminding you that you only had 5% left.
You groaned as you remembered that you had left your phone charger downstairs, and you quietly stepped out of bed.
The nuns should all be asleep now too, you thought while hurrying through the corridors and down the stairs.
You got to the bottom floor, and saw your charger plugged into the socket where you had left it and you stepped forward to retrieve it. The floorboard creaked, and you tensed, before quickly realising it was not you that had caused it.
You turned guiltily, but let out a sigh of relief when you saw it was just Ethan.
"What are you doing up?" you wondered.
"I could ask you the same thing" he smirked.
"Charger" you pointed at it as you went to pick it up.
When you turned, Ethan was zipping up a backpack.
"So, you didn't answer my question" you reminded him.
"I'm going out" he nodded as he slipped the bag onto his back.
"Bye then" you frowned as he walked towards the door, rudely ignoring you.
He put his hand on the door handle but paused.
"Do you want to come?" he sighed.
"Where are you going exactly?"
"If you come, you'll find out" he faced you with a smirk.
You had nothing else to do, and you weren't really tired enough to go to sleep, so you shrugged in agreement and followed him through the building.
The front door was locked, so you went to one of the bottom floor classrooms and Ethan pushed open a window.
"After you" he said, and you climbed out. He jumped out and started walking next to you.
After a while, he finally noticed you shivering slightly, and took in what you were wearing.
"Are you in your pyjamas?" he laughed.
"Well yeah I wasn't exactly planning on going out tonight" you explained.
Ethan chuckled as you continued to shiver, and he took his jacket off to give to you.
"Thanks" you took it reluctantly and put it on. You felt bad as he was just wearing a T-shirt underneath but he didn't seem to mind. "So are you going to tell me where we're going now?"
"You don't like surprises?"
"Fine, I'll wait."
"It's not far, I promise."
"If you say so."
You walked with Ethan until he turned off the street and headed down an alleyway.
"Well this isn't shady at all" you remarked sarcastically, but followed him regardless.
He got to the end, then randomly decided to chuck his bag up in the air. It landed on the fire escape.
"What are you doing?" you questioned.
"We're going up" he said as he pulled down a ladder.
He climbed up and you went up behind him. He didn't stop until he was on the roof of the building, at which point he turned back and offered out his hand to help you up the last little bit.
You followed him across to the other side of the building, where he sat down on the ledge. He looked up at you hopefully. You hesitated, but sat next to him, with your legs dangling down over the side.
There were at least six floors of the building, you realised as you looked down at the street.
"Great view, huh?" Ethan said beside you.
You looked at the night sky - a hazy purplish blue with stars shining like glitter on a canvas.
"Yeah it is" you smiled.
Next to you, Ethan pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter.
You shook your head disapprovingly as he held it between his lips and lit it.
"I'm guessing you don't smoke?" he presumed with a smirk wiped across his face.
"Smoking kills, y'know."
"Only if I die."
You chuckled lightly and lied down on your back to face the stars.
"So how do you cope then?" he asked after a minute.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't have any coping mechanisms."
"For what?"
"Y/n, you're 'Little Miss America', Captain America's daughter. You're saying you can handle those standards?"
"Okay first of all, I hate being called that, so please don't. Secondly, the 'standards' aren't that high."
"Really? People don't expect you to be perfect all the time? You don't have to smile at all the cameras every time one's pointed at you? You weren't forced to go to all those charity events and publicity campaigns? You're happy with the life you're living right now?"
"I-"
"This façade, and none of its even for you. You have to be picture perfect 24/7, and nice all the time because everyone knows who you are. Just because they knew your dad. Even though you're only sixteen, this country expects so much of you. All that pressure, you're saying you can handle that?"
You paused for a moment of reflection. Ethan had a point.
Every public event you had been to, you felt like shit. Your dad had made you go to all of them since you were only five. You remember cameras flashing and a million people talking at once always made your head hurt. You remembered having to dress up nice all the time. Never allowed to have a bad day. If you did, you had to repress it and just put on a smile.
Would it be so bad to find a coping mechanism now?
You held out your hand and Ethan handed you the lit cigarette.
You held it up to your lips and inhaled, then quickly coughed up the smoke.
Ethan laughed at you, then pulled out another cigarette to show you how to do it.
After you had gotten the hang of it, it started to feel good.
Stargazing and smoking seemed like quite a relaxing activity to undertake.
"So do you come out here every night?" you wondered.
"No, I rarely come here at all."
"Oh, how come?"
"I have other things to be doing."
"In the middle of the night?"
"Yeah."
"Like what?"
Ethan sat up next to you and pulled his bag onto his lap. He unzipped it and showed you the contents.
"Holy shit Ethan."