Over the years (Draco x Reader Lemon)

Fourth-Year

Y/N learned quickly upon returning to school that the Draco she knew was vastly different than the Draco the entire school knew, and the difference only became more jarring as they got older.

Now three years later the threat of Voldemort loomed over everyone's heads and as Witches and Wizards chose sides their relationship wained, but that would all change her fourth-year.

9:45 pm November 24th 1995

Climbing up the stairs to the astronomy tower I sigh 'I wonder if he'll be here tonight' I think to myself nearing the top of the stairs, You and Draco had started meeting in the tower halfway through your second year. It was one of few spots you two had where you could meet without anyone knowing, the past couple of months though Draco's stopped showing up-he even stopped sending letters.

Stepping into the empty room I sigh and shake my head, walking over to the large window I close my eyes and lean my forehead against it.

Echoing footsteps bring me out of my gloom and I attempt to find a place to hide, just as I'm about to close the door to a cupboard a posh voice calls out "Y/N?" Immediately recognizing it I lower myself out of the cupboard "Y/N, what are you doing here?" He questions again walking over to me. Feeling my anger spike I whip around to face him "Why am I here? Why are YOU here, your the one who's avoiding me!" I say raising my voice slightly "I-"I knew you were a git to others but I actually thought-"Bloody hell Y/N, shut up!" Draco interrupts covering my mouth with his hands, backing me up against the cupboard Draco glances around before leaning in close to my ear "You think I want to?!" He whisper yells "You honestly think I'd choose not to talk to you, not to see you!?" He questions again. Pulling his hand away I tightly hold in it my grasp "Then why-"Why? My bloody Father, that's why" Draco sneers "He controls every aspect of my life, Y/N, and not just at home-at bloody school as well" he rants attempting to pull his arm away, not letting go I instead wrap my free arm around him in a make shift hug "Draco.." I whisper not being able to say anything else.

Eventually giving in Draco returns my embrace, wrapping a hand around my waist he pulls himself closer to me. Burying his face into my hair I hear his breathing become labored, pulling away slightly I loosen my grip on him "Draco?" I ask as he wraps himself tighter around me "Fuck-Y/N, I'm-I'm sorry. Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Draco gasps out. Lowering us to our knees I rest my hands on his shoulders and pull him back, instantly covering his face with his hands he continues to mutter curses while his breathing quickens "Draco calm down, you're going to pass out if you-"No! Y-you don't get it, I-I don't d-deserve you. Fuck, I-I don't deserve to live-I don't want to l-live!" He says as I move my hands from his shoulders to his forearms. Pulling them down I expose his face, his lips are pale and quivering while his eyes are red and wide with panic. Small streaks of tears run down his pale cheeks as he attempts to free his arms, not letting go I lean in closer to his face "Draco, you need to breath. Don't focus on anything else, just in through your nose...and out through your mouth" I instruct while Draco begins to shake "I-I can't I-"You can. In through your nose...and out of your mouth, I'll do it with you" I interrupt moving my hands to his face. Making him look at me I see his silver eyes dart from my mouth to my eyes as he attempts to match my breathing "O-okay, in...o-out..in" he mutters while staring into my eyes, rubbing a thumb on his cheek I nod my head in approval "Good, just like that-don't think about anything else, okay? Just breath" I instruct seeing the color some what come back to his face.

It didn't take long for his breathing to regulate and we eventually made our way over to the windows of the Astrology Tower, sitting beside me Draco has his knees to his chest and his head resting on the window. Glancing from his face to his arm I gingerly place a hand on his knee "Draco..were you having a panic attack?" I ask beginning to rub lopsided circles with my thumb "I..I don't know." He answers lifting his head up, moving onto my knees I position myself in front of him. Using my other hand I cup his cheek "Draco..what's going on?" I ask as his eyes meet mine, shaking his head Draco let's out a shakey breath "I..I can't tell you" he says softly while averting his gaze "Why can't you?" I ask furrowing my brows. "I just can't, Y/N!" He says harshly while meeting my gaze once again, gasping at the sudden change in tone my hand falls from his face. Shaking his head once again Draco mutters something before pulling me into an embrace, falling into him my arms instinctively brace themselves against the wall behind us.