This is not because I like you // catradora Highschool AU

concerts, scars, and kisses // 5

tw// self harm, scars, and physical&verbal abuse.

Adora's POV.

Today was the concert. Good thing it was a weekend so we had plenty of time on our hands. We finished the song yesterday we were all up till midnight since we were trying to incorporate the instruments.

It was now 1:00 pm, me and Glimmer just finished eating lunch. It was my turn to wash the dishes so I stayed behind while Glimmer went up stairs since she felt a bit fuzzy. Is that even a word??

I finished washing the dishes and turned back into the counter to see if there's still more. I saw a dirty knife and a cutting board. I hesitated. Im not allowed to hold sharp objects alone, they were my trigger.

*flash back*

"You are useless! And irresponsible! No wonder Kelly got into that accident, you are reckless!!"

His words cutting deeper than I ever did before.

"You do not have the right to speak of her name! I didn't do anything. but you? You send her to military training because of some fucking dishes she didn't do!" I snapped, regretting it instantly.

"Wait, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. P-please papa don't hurt me!!" The last sentence meant nothing he still hurt me. He dragged me by the hair, then pulled out thick chunks of it.

"AAH!!" I screamed hoping someone would hear me.

He then started to beat me up. After what seemed like hours, he bent down to me, I was crunching up my body on the floor, trying to protect myself. He looked me in the eye then smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry honey, but you were misbehaving to papa. I'm sure you learned your lesson, now go to your room."

I quickly yet slowly stood up and went to my room. My body felt like it was ripping. I reached over to the back of my hair. There was almost nothing. The bottom half had obvious bald spots now.

"Hahahaha..." I slowly laughed.

I'm a jock, a basketball player, I'm strong enough to fight anyone. But why, why couldn't I protect myself from you?

The slow laughs soon turned into sobs.

"You shouldn't hurt me. You can't hurt me more than I hurt myself. It's not fair."

I repeat to myself, grabbing the cutter from the bottom drawer. I cut my wrist.

"Shit." I wince in the pain. It was deeper, and had more blood coming out. This pain is nice, this pain is the only pain I can control. And I'm addicted to it.

I look at the rest of my wrist. Left and right. They were all full. Covered in scars, whether from myself or from papa. My thighs were the same. I look at my leg. It would be harder to hide but right now it's needed. But before I could even cut...

There was only darkness that consumed me.

*end of flashback*

I slowly blinked my eyes a few times. A few tears running down my cheeks. I was abused since I was 10? 11? I'm not sure. It only stopped when I was 15. I'm now 18. I still cry about it, like every night. But things are better without papa around anymore.

But that was all that changed since, papa wasn't here to hurt me any more.

"Adora?" I flinched at the sudden touch. I notice I was still in front of the sink but I didn't hold the knife.