I may not be the most patient man, but not when it comes to you angel. I waited enough, blindly and naively you could say. Maybe someday I will tell you how much I desired you my whole life and how stupidly I imagined you being with me, knowing that...
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Jungkook POV
The warm beams of the sun are shining over our bodies through the window, her arms holding me tight, as if she were afraid I would go away. Alice is sleeping peacefully beside me, her quiet slow breathes and the hard thumps of my heart the only sounds surrounding us. It feels like I just woke up on cloud nine and hit the jackpot. How can she be so mesmerising even by doing literally nothing. I want to wake up like this for the rest of my life.
Last night she surprised me and made me feel so much happiness, the euphoric feeling still lingering in my mind. She is amazing. We are amazing. And this is just the start, because I am not planning letting her go. I will fight for you, Alice. I will give you everything you need and make sure that your life is only filled with joy and bliss.
As much as I would love to stay like this forever, I did promise her a date. Our first date. I wanted to do this since that night at my place, but then Yoongi came and it wasn't the right time. I was pissed at him for interrupting us and being so fucking rude towards me. I promised Alice, that I am not going to come between her friendship with Yoongi, on the contrary, I will be there supporting her every step of the way. I tend to keep that promise, but that doesn't make it easy.
Yoongi always came first, her eyes were shining only for him, while mine only for her. She was and still is clueless on how much power she holds over me. Infinite, like the love I feel for her. My patience is testing me, not knowing how much longer I can withhold all these feelings I have been piling up all over the years. I want to shower her with all my love, keep her safe, let her in and never let her go. I almost laugh at how desperate I am for her, but I don't care. Not when it comes to her. I am not even slightly embarrassed how addicted I am to her and one day she will find out. She just needs to get there too. I don't want to overwhelm and scare her away.
I don't have many regrets in life, but not telling her sooner how I feel may be one. On the other side, I never really got the chance. There is no one to blame than fate and my coward ass. I contemplated too long on how to express my feelings and I lost her on the way. I wanted to tell her on more than one occasion what she does to my heart, how her smile lights up my darkest days, how spending time with her is my favourite thing in the world, how her voice is the most beautiful sound and how lucky I am to have her in my life.
My feelings for her didn't happen overnight, they automatically developed on themselves through out the years, without having any control over them. The first time I met her, the first talk we had, all the days we would spend only the two of us wandering around and taking photographs, my lenses only directed to her, those damn iron man socks she gifted me. It was almost impossible not to fall for her.
I was blind, because while dealing with my own emotions I didn't see how close she got with Yoongi. My first mistake...or so I thought for a while. I realised later that you can't control who you love, who you have a connection with and who someone chooses. I chose her, but she didn't. She chose him and I didn't even have the right to be angry. I never expressed my real feelings, never shown her more than friendship and most definitely at that time I wasn't even ready to deal with what I felt. That is why I stopped thinking, maybe if I was faster, maybe if I was closer to her, maybe, maybe, maybe. It wasn't healthy to dwell in the past and in the end the most important thing, was her happiness. If she was happy with Yoongi, then so be it. I am going to accept it and deal with my feelings on my own.
