I may not be the most patient man, but not when it comes to you angel. I waited enough, blindly and naively you could say. Maybe someday I will tell you how much I desired you my whole life and how stupidly I imagined you being with me, knowing that...
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Jungkook POV
My alarm goes off at 5:30, not sure how I even got to bed last night. Last thing I remember is Hagrid giving Dudley Dursley a pig tail and then zoning out. My batteries were drained from yesterday's work. I've been pulling endless hours with this personal project, one that I am very excited for. It holds a special meaning to me, and that is my very own girlfriend sleeping beside me peacefully.
Turning my head to her, slow breathes are escaping her mouth while she is probably taken into dream land, laying as always on her tummy. Alice has three different sleep positions, not more not less. Exactly three. The one on her tummy with one leg up and her hand across me is the peaceful one. The one cuddled up into my chest is the anxious one and finally the one on her back, which luckily doesn't come out so often, the one where her dreams are replaced by nightmares, taking over her mind and fussing the whole night. The later one I only witnessed just a couple of times and needless to say, not once since she and I got together.
Last time her fears took over her sleep, taking the harsh reality into her dreams, was that one Christmas I spent with her after Alex's death. I still remember as it was yesterday, the way I woke up from my sleep, feeling like something was wrong and took her into my arms in order to calm her down. That was my only wish that Christmas, to see her find peace even for a night.
I was packing to drive over to my parents during the holidays, but when Namjoon called wishing me Happy Christmas and let me know what Alice's plans were, I took out my phone immediately, called off my parents and went straight to the market to buy a last minute tree. Alice doesn't like to admit when she needs help, she always tries to solve her problems on her own, but I knew better, even than her. She may have thought she wanted to be alone, but the reality was, that the moment she saw me on her doorstep with a big ass Christmas tree, her eyes showed me the complete opposite.
I almost called Yoongi and screamed at him for leaving her alone, but I stopped myself, realising Alice probably did what she does best. Tried to be strong on her own, put up a thick wall for no one to see her misery, while she was shattering inside. Her brother's death was almost the last drop into breaking, but she held through and never mourned him properly. I'm afraid that when the day arrives, it will bring out all the grief, heartache and sadness that's been bubbling up inside her kind soul.
I told her that night over and over again, that everything is going to be fine, unsure if that was even the case. But desperate times call for desperate measures and I promised myself to give all of me in change of the calmness after the storm that was happening inside her mind. She fell asleep in my arms, showing me the anxious part of her, only to turn around on her back, letting out the nightmares cursing her thoughts. I don't think she knows all the things that were screamed out in her sleep, the fear of being left alone erupting from her darkest depths, the realisation that Alex is gone. He was her last drop of hope in this world, just to be taken away in a millisecond. I kept caressing her head, swiping the sweat dripping down her forehead, scared that she will stop and sleep forever on her back. But it didn't happen. Eventually she calmed down, got on her tummy, hand over my chest and reached the peacefulness I wished with all my heart. A Christmas miracle.
