A Season of Masks and Masquerades

Chapter 51: Before the dawn breaks

Esther had spoken those words out before thinking, for that was the only way she could take this conversation where she intended it to go. She was herself not too confident, apologising, begging, those were among the few things that were not Esther Sherbourne's forte and Edward's reluctant self was hardly helping. 

Before he had walked into the chapel, Esther was almost certain she did not want anything out of all this. She believed her motives to be selfless and her intentions pure but now, having him in front of her eyes and watching him leave made her realise how selfish she truly was. She wanted to keep him, make him stay, irrespective of all things in the world. 

Somewhere deep down in her heart, she knew, he too wanted to stay. 

She must have been insane but she did not anymore have the senses to notice any of that. 

Calling him by his name, his true name, and the reaction he presented post hearing it restored all the confidence she ever, if at all, lacked and needed. She felt powerful inside out and she knew she was going to win this one. 

It was only uphill from here, she was certain of it. 

Edward's head however was a mesh of confusion and questions that he somehow seemed to know the answers to yet felt unable to find them. 

Esther was being too honest of her feelings, but again she had always been honest, dishonesty was his forte after all. This, however, was beyond all the honesty she had ever shown him, she was clearly telling him to stay, despite all that he had made her go through, she was asking him to be a part of her life. She was asking him to do just what he desired the most. It was maddening how he could not accept the one thing that he had ever felt the strongest desire for in his entire existence and that when it was right in front of him to grab. 

He had to take his eyes off. 

He could not waver.

"I apologize, madam, for my arrogance and audacity but I must leave, now and forever." He all but whispered, his eyes pinned to her feet than her face. "It is for the best." 

He heard Esther whimper, very faintly, and that was all. He was expecting more protest, after all he was stripping Esther Sherbourne of something she deeply desired, she was not one to give up so easily. 

Or perhaps, he had over assumed his importance in her heart. 

He could feel her eyes on him, unwavering while his were on her feet. The candlelight behind her was rendering her dress useless, giving out the flawless curves of her legs. He wondered what it would feel like to touch them, kiss them, spread them apart-

No. He had to stop. And leave. 

"I wish you a happy life and hope that you will someday be able to forgive me for making the past season the worst of your life." He added and turned around without another bow. 

He strode down the aisle of the chapel, the door was only steps away now and Esther seemed to have given up, finally. He had assumed he would be happy, but as it seemed, not so much. 

"Give me what's mine, and then you shall leave," Esther said the moment Edward laid hand on the door's handle to pull it open. He stopped at her words, most obviously and turned around with questions in his eyes. 

"Pardon me, I am afraid I do not understand. What is- yours?" He worded his curiosity hesitantly. A part of him was pushing a rather pleasing yet disturbing answer to his mind, surely she was not about to say it was him that belonged to her, that would be wild. 

Esther chuckled very faintly as if his eyes had been giving out all his thoughts, before starting to walk up to him. That was one long walk and the waiting was causing Edward to want to scream. Curiosity must have killed the cat no doubt.