Feelings Expressed

Ugh

It is 12:28 AM. Why am I still in your room while your on the phone, I wonder what you're thinking but I just know that I like being in your room. And you're not even sitting with me like you use to, my stomach was quiet and now it won't stop making stupid noises. It was that coffee man. Holy fuck I'm tired but yet here I stay because I also like glancing over at you to see your smile when you laugh. Ugh so I just saw how you see this dude as a friend and me as cousin. Why can't I be a friend.  I mean you use to call me that and for what if that's not really how you see me. I also hate the fact that you literally all over him while he was over and literally aww bf gf shit and yet you seem annoyed when you told me he was over all the time and that it's awkward when y'all in the same room not talking. Are you thinking that of me rn. Then can you just tell me to go i mean I have a reason to stay but you probably just think I'm weird. But I mean your convo on the phone is kinda weird to because it's just silent and then bursts of laughters now and then. Fuck why are you so adorable when you laugh. I left your place like 11 minutes ago and although I feel extremely exhausted, I tried going to sleep and as soon as I closed my eyes my brain is thinking of something and nothing at the same time. I just see white lines moving when I close my eyes. I think about how much I like that you're the one saying see you tomorrow every time I leave. I am content and disappointed with our interactions today. Okay I should really sleep 1:11 AM.