Feelings Expressed

I

Even though I think about you and want to text you all day I refrain myself from doing so. Sometimes I won't open your reply so that I can continue to see your notification throughout my day. I can't tell you how much I dislike the fact that I like you knowing how you feel. I put on a laugh and smile when you talk about your boyfriend wishing I was the one you were interested in. But that's just what it is, a wish and a crush in your eyes yet I write and feel all these things about you. I dislike the way I feel for you. I apologize deeply but I don't think my feelings will ever change because every time I look at you I can't stay mad or sad. You bring me a bunch of happiness all at once and I enjoy your presence immensely. I love to look at you, i love to hear your voice, i love your laughter, i love your little dances, i love your little breathless moans, i love the way you move your fingers on your phone subconsciously and I can't help mentioning these things. This just makes me wonder how he's loving you. Because even the glimpse I see of the way you love is such a great kind of love. He's lucky enough to have that shit in his life. As I've always said if you're happy I'm happy for you even if I'm not the cause of it.